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November 30, 2010 @ 9:56 am

Types of Men & Women You Should Avoid and Why!


Sandy Weiner, Certified Dating Coach and Founder of Last First Date joined the show on eHealth Radio powered by

Interview Transcription:

Eric Michaels: Sandy, I see that you are beginning your four-week Dating 102 course, the Power of Attraction, tonight. Can you give us an overview about what you will be covering during this date coaching tele-class?

Sandy Weiner: Dating 102, the Power of Attraction, is for women who are smart, self-aware, and successful in most areas of their lives except for their ability to find a loving, long-term relationship with a wonderful man. This course will help them find out who will make the best partner. They will discover who not to date and who to date. They'll learn the most important qualities to look for in a man, and discover how to turn that first date into a long-term relationship.

Eric Michaels: Can you tell us about some of the types of men women should avoid and why?

Sandy Weiner: First and foremost, women should avoid men who are self-centered. How can you tell the difference between a healthy sense of self and a narcissist?  Watch if he makes eye contact with you, if he talks about his many accomplishments instead of his inner experiences, and whether or not he's a good listener. Another thing to stay away from is if the guy has any outstanding financial or legal obligations, or if he is still emotionally involved with an ex.

Eric Michaels: What's one secret mistake that smart, successful, self-aware women make that prevents them from attracting the right kinds of men?

Sandy Weiner: Many smart, successful, self-aware women give off a masculine energy by appearing too self-sufficient. They often want to attract strong, successful men, but the more feminine man will be attracted to the masculine energy of a very driven, independent woman. The key is for women to access their feminine side. Most emotionally healthy men enjoy nurturing their women, so I tell women to allow their vulnerability to show. This is much harder to put into practice than it would seem. It takes a great deal of trust and letting go in order to reveal a more vulnerable side. but this is key to building a close, trusting relationship. You don't want a guy to look at a successful dynamic woman on a date and think, " I don't know whether to hire her or date her."

Eric Michaels: What are some things to do on a first date in order to secure a second date?

Sandy Weiner: When greeting a man for the first time, shake his hand by covering it with your second hand and look him straight in the eye and smile. This is key to establishing a sense of warmth and connection from the get go. Most people shake hands on a first date in the same way that they would in meeting a business colleague for the first time. Pay attention to body language. Yours and his. If you're interested, keep your body open, arms uncrossed, lean forward, and by all means, don't speak with your mouth full!

Eric Michaels: What are some of the things not to do on a first date in order to secure a second date?

Sandy Weiner: 1. Don't follow up a date with a text or email any time over the following 24 hours. If he's interested, he will let you know. He will probably ask you out for a second date as the first date is ending. 2. Don't drink more than one drink on the date. You want to be sober and in control of what you say on the date. 3. Don't do more than kiss him. Leave him wanting more...

Eric Michaels: Can you share a tip that will help women find a loving relationship?

Sandy Weiner: Open up your mind to who may be a good match for you. You may be eliminating the right kinds of men by narrowing your search too much or focusing on the wrong kinds of guys. Stay away from romantic notions of love at first sight. Even though this can happen, it is rare. The most important tip: get out and meet as many men as you can. Love doesn't happen in a vacuum. It happens when you show up as your best self every time you leave the house and engage in conversation with people. Notice that I didn't say with men only. Talking to women increases your chance of meeting the right guy, too. Someone who is impressed with you may keep you in mind to introduce to some fabulous guy they know. You never know...

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Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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