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November 30, 2010 @ 5:17 pm

Where do individuals fail on the 1st date?


Kimberly Koehler joins eHealth Radio. Kimberly is a life long student of relationships. She brings the knowledge and training she has obtained from the past 18 years to her clients. With a very unique perspective, Kimberly coaches her clients through a process that allows them to understand and live the life they love.  Kimberly, coaches clients internationally and is a motivational speaker.

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Transcript of Interview with Kimberly Koehler.


Eric Michaels: From your perspective, why do so many struggle in where to start when it comes to dating?

Kimberly Koehler: People struggle with the process because it's confusing to them. They get advice from so many sources from married family members, married mothers, married friends and what ends up happening is they stop listening to them because they think what do you know about dating cause you haven't dated in a while. Then they have single friends that will chime in & single family members that will chime in and they see how they dated or see how their relationships haven't worked and so they are confused - why would I listen to any of you guys and then the social pressures in general with how we were raised. In our society in general we are supposed to go to school, pick a job, get married, have a great job and then start a family. There are some people that do not fit that mold. As we have evolved as a culture, what you would say are traditional methods of meeting people and traditional pressures don't necessarily match how we are living our life and so essentially what ends up happening is there is just a lot of noise and a lot of confusion and people aren't quite sure what direction they are supposed to go. There is or there isn't - I am doing online dating, some people are comfortable with that others don't want anybody knowing. There are many couples that come up with a story on how you met and we don't tell people generally it was through online dating. So what the way I help my clients is to break down that noise and stop the confusion...

Eric Michaels: Where do individuals fail on the 1st date?

Kimberly Koehler: I think expectations. A lot of times people will sit and have this huge idea of how this date is supposed to be and you play out the date several different times in several different ways before they go on the date and end up getting incredibly nervous. We go into the date with a huge expectation of is this going to be the person or not the person. Instead of looking at this as gathering as a way to get to know someone better that you just met over a cup of coffee or ice cream or a walk and having it be something very casual and laid back with zero expectations other than getting to know somebody - when you go into it like we are going to have dinner, this big huge date and this big huge pressure of performance and what have you you end up setting both parties up for failure...

Eric Michaels: What are some good date ideas?

Kimberly Koehler: If you are just newly dating obviously it can be fun - let's face it, it is a fun time in your life - there is the energy, the honey moon period - getting to know somebody.  Really what I think is more important is that are you showing up on your dates with confidence? What is interesting is that if you are going into a date meaning you where feel the pressure of needing to pull something off - you could have planned the greatest date in the world, like you said you went to a pizza parlor and here is this woman and you both weren't on the same kilt, and so you start out with your first meeting at a coffee shop or ice cream. And you next meeting would be, and on the first date you would have found out since you are going to have a conversation that will engage one another - is this person into a museum or does this person into outdoor activities - so does that mean you can do a walk and a picnic which gets into an element is this going to be expensive...


Want the entire version of this eHealth Radio Episode?

Kimberly Koehler discusses & answers:

- Dating Safety Tips

- Pick Up Lines

- And a Special Tip...

Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your relationship guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on  eHealth Radio - powered by Refer to audio player and links below.

Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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