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December 1, 2010 @ 9:46 pm

Ingredients for an Everlasting Marriage

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Sherly P. Kurland joins the show on eHealth Radio. Having interviewed 75 couples married 50-plus years across the country, Sheryl P. Kurland is the “voice” of the “voices of experience” – the real-life relationship experts. Over 4,000 years of marriage insight and advice are compiled in the coffee-table book Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More. Not only is Ms. Kurland the only author to have interviewed such a sizable collective of couples married more than 5 decades, she furthered her distinction by interviewing husbands and wives separately.  The couples represent a "sprinkling of America," from all different faiths, ethnicity's and backgrounds. Contrary to the colossal number of today’s traditional self-help books, each espousing an analyst’s “how-to” brand to the perfect relationship, Everlasting Matrimony fills an abyss by providing experience over analysis...the expertise of ordinary folks who’ve walked-the-walk and talked-the-talk.


250sq_edrugstore.jpgPart of Interview Transcript: eHealth Radio is brought to you by eDrugStore.com

Eric Michaels: First, let's start with what inspired you to write Everlasting Matrimony?

Sheryl Kurland: What inspired me to write "Everlasting Matrimony" was a complete brainstorm one night about 2 o'clock in the morning. News stories continually happen in the headlines with celebrity divorces. I am a freelance writer by profession and at the time I got the idea for the book there was just a whole slew of celebrity divorces and they continue. If you were to map them out it is just like an ongoing parade. It dawned on me in this brainstorm that there has never been a book that interviews couples married for fifty years or more - they are the experts. There is a lot of books written by "gurus" who think they are experts and many of them are divorced or never had a successful relationship. I did research to see if there was such a book and there wasn't so that set me on pace to write this book "Everlasting Matrimony": Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More.

Eric Michaels: Do you think that pre-marital counseling is a must for all engaged couples? How about the already married couple who seems fine in their current marriage?

Sheryl Kurland: Pre-marital counselling is such a big buzz word now, that you need education to be married and it does have its place. The answer to your question is NO! I really feel very strongly that what couples really need that are about to embark on the road map of marriage is role models. To find people who are successfully married and just sit down and engage in an every day conversation with them. How did you do it? How did you get through the hurdles? What has been some of the highs and some of the lows? Why have you been able to stay together through those lows and what have been some of the most difficult times so on and so forth. I really think conversations with role models is the best idea and you can find them every where and these people are willing to talk to you and it is FREE! And as far as couples that are fine in their marriage - do they need marriage counselling - I do think marriage counselling has its place but that it is over used and people tend to want this analytical approach. In any marriage - it can be improved and the best way to find out how to improve it having a L-I-S-T meeting. Each of you sit down and write ideas of ...I wish you would do this or I wish you would do that but the trick is when you've got your list ready then you turn the list on yourself and see if you are doing those things because if you are doing those things then their gonna be - it's like a mirror reflected back to you s- this is what I suggest. If a couple is fine in their marriage but really wants to improve that's sort of a good exercise to do and you don't have to spend any money to do that either.

Eric Michaels: The couples you interviewed that got married 50 or more years ago, and life was so different then.  Why is their advice valid in today's very complicated world & culture?

Sheryl Kurland: Many people say to me, Oh Sheryl, you know, it was so different then - women had certain roles and men had certain roles and the world was so less complex than it is today and my answer to them is first for all women could work in those days they might have not had the high powered positions that they do today but they did work. These couples lived through war times, with long separations, they didn't have the medical technology that we have today, they didn't have the communications and technology, they didn't have marriage counselling and if you were to lump all these things together and say OK, I want you to get married in the year 2010 you would say NO WAY! So these couples have been through everything possible that you can think of and also when you widdle down a relationship whether it was fifty years ago, today or fifty years from now, the same ingredients make up a loving relationship no matter what year it is so the advice is valid any period of time.

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Want the entire version of this eHealth Radio Episode?

Kimberly Koehler discusses & answers:

- With today's open channels of communication with modern technology such as social media and use of smart phones/cell phones -  putting marriages much more at risk - any advice that you can give in that regard?

- Discusses her Relationship trainer courses for Businesses and Corporations & what it entails.

- And a Special Tip...

Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your relationship guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on  eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.

Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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