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December 9, 2010 @ 8:32 pm

Finding Sexual Abundance


Izzy Gesell M.Ed, CSP joined the show to discuss sexual issues within our relationship.

Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.

Izzy is a motivational speaker and group facilitator which is not something he thought he would be doing at any point in his life. Raised in Brooklyn, NY, Izzy started his professional career as a special education teacher which included seven years at Bellevue Psychiatric Hospital. He wanted to be a stand up comedian and studied comedy writing in New York. After moving to Massachusetts, he had a varied career as a comedian, deli owner and teacher of comedy writing before stumbling into the perfect career – motivational humorist, group facilitator, author and sexual advocate.


Partial Transcript of Interview with Izzy Gesell


Eric Michaels: In your best estimate how often should a married couple be having sex on a weekly basis?

Izzy Gesell: I think that is one of the stumbling blocks is to think there is a right number or right way to do it. I think the key is couples should be having sex on a basis that works for the both of them - it's sort of like a dance and you have to be able to go along with your partner when they want to dance with you. I don't think that there is a certain number of times of week but they key is ot be in alignment on how often it should be.

Eric Michaels: When there should be a concern if they aren't dancing to the same beat so to speak?

Izzy Gesell: Well I guess if we are going to use that same metaphor, when they are dancing to different beats, so when one person is feeling that they are not having their needs met and the other person is feeling that things are fine then that's when there should be a concern. It's not so much how often or when it's more, are we in alignment are we being satisfied in our needs to get our sexual desires and needs fulfilled.

Eric Michaels: How can we be sure our wives are not faking an orgasm?

Izzy Gesell: Well, I don't know if you ever can be sure if think about movies like Harry met Sally or that Seinfeld episode where Elaine proved to Jerry that she was able to do that and Jerry swore that he would never be able to be tricked like that but what I think this refers is - if someone need to fake it then there is a need to have some more communication - why do they need to fake it or what are they trying to achieve by faking it. I think that in the work that Laura and I have done with we found more and more couples who spend a lot of time in their heads thinking about trying to please what they think the other person wants so sometimes we have talked to women who have said they faked it because they didn't want to embarrass their partner and on some level if you think about the phrase "faking an orgasm" it's about being truthful...


Want the entire version of this eHealth Radio Episode?
Izzy Gesell discusses & answers:

- How can we prepare mentally ahead of time (release stress) so that we are relaxed and have a mind to please the other sexually?

- What can a man do, if he has issues with having an erection...due to medication, health issues or stress?

- One party controlling when the intimate time occurs.

- And a Special Tip...

Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by Refer to audio player and links below.

Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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