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December 29, 2010 @ 7:50 am

Are You Involved in Cyber-Sex?

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Clinical Psychologist, Speaker, Author, Media coach and Hypnotherapist Dr. Janet Hall joins the show from Melbourne, Australia. She has written 8 books and recorded 34 CDs. She helps people superboost their confidence and get fantastic results.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.

Dr. Janet Hall is the author of eight books on family and relationship issues including “Sex-Wise Teens” and “Sex-life Solutions”. Jan is featured regularly on the television program “Sex Life” as their female sex therapist/advisor. Her 19 CDS in the Sensational Sex Series frankly and informatively discuss sexual issues ranging from sex therapy with hypnosis, to advice on creating and sharing sexual fantasies, and strategies for sparking up your sex-life.

Dr. Jan is consistently in demand from the media for comment on a variety of current issues.


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Transcript of Interview with Dr. Janet Hall


Eric Michaels: Why do men make the women attend sex therapy?

Dr. Hall: The most common problem for women is that they are not “turning onto” sex. They're just not interested. Because sex is more important to men usually than it is to women, there are a group of men who send their women in for therapy and asks the therapist -'can you fix my woman?' These men hope that I can give them a magic pill which will get their women interested in sex. (Alas, there is no such magic in a pill – the woman has to turn on the main switch inside her mind and body to find sexual inspiration.)


Eric Michaels: Describe the main difference between the way men view sex vs. the way women do?

Dr. Hall: Men tend to be visual and they like a lot to do with what they are seeing to be stimulated during sex – a woman wearing flimsy underwear is more enticing than a naked woman.
Women like to feel that affection has been shown to them and they like to be touched gently. Put very simply: Men want women to dress up in lingerie and women want to be given roses and to be told that they're beautiful.


Eric Michaels: What is the biggest misconception that men vs women have about sex?

Dr. Hall: Men are often fixated on intercourse as being the 'big bang' they call it, and that sex should end up in orgasms for both. Actually, women often buy into that “big bang” belief as well -but the main belief that causes sexual issues which women buy into is that “as long as you're being a good woman to your partner, it doesn't matter if you don't have sex. If you're a good woman-a good mother, a good partner and a good wife -you can get away with not having sex”.


Eric Michaels: What are your views about cyber sex?

Dr. Hall: If someone is involved with someone and engages in cyber sex or views sex on the web, it can only work as long as you're sharing it with your partner. If it's hidden, it's cheating. So if you're hiding, it's cheating. 
Web based sex usually ends up causing damage to a couple's sex life.


Eric Michaels: What's the most unique sexual problem you've seen a client about?

Dr. Hall: I think that women who have Vaginismus are the most unique (that is, a small but very deserving group of women) because that's something so many people are not aware of except the sufferers. Vaginismus is like anxiety (even a “panic attack”) of the vagina so that nothing can penetrate the vagina. The woman may have been married for several years and never had anything penetrate her vagina, though she can be sexually active, enjoying orgasms and intimacy. 
There's many possible reasons for Vaginismus. For instance, if the girl’s mother has been very negative about sex and warns that -'good girls wouldn't do that.' It can also result from hearing about other women complain about pain. It can just happen to the worrying types, you know people who worry about anything that's new and strange. It can also be caused by a physical problem – perhaps recurrent Thrush which causes severe pain. The vaginal sphincter and internal muscles seize up. We don't know how common it is because women are only starting to come for therapy more often with it now and it has been badly diagnosed in the past.


Eric Michaels: What happens when sex goes bad in a relationship. Can you get it back?

Dr. Hall: 
We need to clear up any upsets that might have happened to in past and come to
terms with them. Then we have to agree on what's going to happen in the
future. If he wants to swing by the chandeliers and you want to do it with
the lights out, it's never going to be good. You have to make agreements
about what you expect and what you will do and won't do.
That's where it's good to get a mediator, sometimes a family counselor but
maybe a sex therapist is best.


Contact & Information:


Web Site: sex-therapy.com.au


Phone: Melboure, Australia - +61-3-94193010


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Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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