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February 1, 2011 @ 2:14 pm

Is It Any Different Dating When You are Older?

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Author, writer and relationship expert, Jackie Pilossoph joined the show. She discusses with host Eric Michaels about living happily ever after for THE SECOND TIME, and about the keys to a successful relationship when there are kids involved.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Jackie Pilossoph is the author of "HOOK, LINE AND SINK HIM", a romantic comedy published last spring.  She writes for magazines on the subjects of love and romance and is currently getting her next novel ready for release.  Pilossoph has a Masters degree in Journalism.  She spent many years working in television news, and also taught communications courses at Roosevelt University.  Additionally, she’s held positions in advertising and pharmaceutical sales.


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Abbreviated Transcript of Interview with Jackie Pilossoph


Eric Michaels: Is dating different as an older person than it was when we were in our 20’s and 30’s?  Why?
Jackie Pilossoph: Dating as an older person and dating in our 20’s and 30’s is like night and day.  When we’re in our 20’s and 30’s, there’s no one to worry about but ourselves. We have all the time in the world to get to know each other, do things together. Typically, the only obligation we have our job.  Now, fast forward to dating after divorce. Now, we have kids and ex’s to think about.  In addition, people are very guarded. They’ve been hurt. They’re emotional messes. So, one of two things happens. Either they’re smart and they take things slowly, or they jump into the relationship very quickly and are engaged again in a matter of a few months.


Eric Michaels: What are the advantages of taking things slow?
Jackie Pilossoph: What people have to keep in mind is that there are children involved. These kids are still hurting from the divorce. And forcing them to quickly enter into a new family with a new mom or dad and stepbrothers and stepsisters is in my opinion selfish.Taking it slow allows everyone to really get to know each other and to gain trust in those people. Another really nice thing about taking things slow is that the couple gets to know each other and there’s so much less of a chance for unseen disappointment. I have so many divorced friends who move full speed ahead in a new relationship, only to find out six months later, that the genuine feelings really aren’t there. And that’s a recipe for true heartbreak.  What’s the rush? You just got out of a marriage. Focus on your kids and healing yourself first.  Don’t jump into anything.


Eric Michaels: What is the key to a successful relationship and staying happy?
Jackie Pilossoph: In my opinion, the biggest and best thing two people in a relationship can do is to give each other space. Give each other the opportunity to really miss the other person. Lots of times, couples get frustrated because with their kids’ schedules, days go by (sometimes weeks) where they haven’t seen each other. I say, that can really be a good thing! You appreciate each other more and you value the time you have with each other. Let it work to your advantage!


Eric Michaels: What do you say when your boyfriend/girlfriend tells you he or she wants to go out with friends on Saturday night instead of you?
Jackie Pilossoph: The biggest mistake people make when this happens is admitting their gut reaction, which is usually a gasp, followed by, “I can’t believe you don’t want to see me!  We’re both free and without our kids!”  Instead, my advice would be to support the person.  “I think that’s great.  Have a wonderful time.”  But, they key is, you genuinely have to mean it.  Think about it.  The person has kids and no time for him or herself. Let the one you love enjoy themselves without you. Be confident and assured that your relationship is strong and that he or she can go do something without you! I guarantee if you have this attitude, he or she will miss you so much, they’ll be dialing you Sunday morning first thing!


Eric Mcihaels: Is there anything better about dating after divorce than dating in your 20’s and 30’s?
Jackie Pilossoph: Yes! Lots of things! First, I think we appreciate everything in life more as we get older. So, that goes for people as well. When we meet someone we really like, we treasure them more and we are treasured more as well. I think love is stronger and more meaningful. We don’t focus so much on the superficial as what’s in the heart and the core of the person. And, communication is better. We’ve made mistakes, so we know how to talk to the person.


Want the entire audio version of this eHealth Radio Episode?


Don't Miss the Special Tip in Conclusion...


Web Sites:
JackiePilossoph.net
Facebook: Facebook.com/jackiesbooks
Twitter: @PilossophsBooks


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

Filed under Health, Dating, Relationships · Comments

February 1, 2011 @ 8:33 am

The biggest challenges parents face today in raising their children

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Dr. Frances Walfish, who is a leading child and family therapist in private practice in Beverly Hills, California joined the show. Her caring approach, exuberant style, humor, and incisive insights have earned her a sterling reputation in the field.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


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Dr. Fran Walfish began her career when she was hired onto the professional staff of the Julia Ann Singer Preschool Psychiatric Center Cedars-Sinai Medical Center at the young age of eighteen.  She worked as a Psychotherapist, providing individual, group, and family therapy to emotionally disturbed children and their families. She went on to receive her M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University and her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Ryokan College.  She did her internship at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center under the supervision of pioneering psychiatrist Dr. Saul L. Brown.

Over the years, Dr. Walfish has served a diverse patient population, including working class families as well as Hollywood’s elite, and has achieved recognition as a respected child development specialist and parent educator.  For five years, she worked as a school psychologist to eight hundred children at a private school in Beverly Hills.  In 1991, Barry Diller and Sidney Sheinberg tapped Dr. Walfish to represent the Hollywood Support HIV/AIDS education campaign throughout the U.S., appearing in numerous televised public service announcements.

Dr. Walfish’s professional affiliations include the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, the Association of Child Development Specialists, and the American Psychological Association.  She is Chair of the Board of the Early Childhood Parenting Center, founded at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.  She is also a former member of the Board of the Wilshire Boulevard Temple Mann Family Early Childhood Center, and Caring for Babies with AIDS.

Dr. Walfish has addressed parent groups and teacher trainings at many of the foremost private schools and early childhood centers on the West Coast, including Oakwood School, the Hollywood Montessori Center, the Bureau of Jewish Education, the Warner Brothers Child Care Center, and the Samuel Goldwyn Children’s Center.  She has also spoken at churches and synagogues, and on panels at large national conferences for parents.  Among the topics she’s addressed are “Our Children in Crisis” and “Dealing with Temper Tantrums, Anger, and Limit-Setting as Your Child’s Supportive Coach.”

Dr. Walfish is a frequent guest on top-tier TV programs, including NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams and KABC-TV Los Angeles, and often appears in major publications such as Parents Magazine, Family Circle and Woman’s Day. Her upcoming book, The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building A Better Bond with Your Child from Palgrave Macmillan/St. Martin’s Press, is scheduled to launch December 7, 2010.  William Morris Endeavor and Lake Paradise Entertainment are presently collaborating with Dr. Walfish to produce a television series offering therapeutic guidance and help to families in America.


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Dr. Fran Walfish discusses the following on this eHealth Radio Episode:

  • So many books have been written about children.  Dr. Fran, how did you come to write your new book, The Self-Aware Parent for parents?
  • What are the biggest challenges parents face today in raising their children?
  • Each chapter of your book describes a different parenting style.  Can you describe for our listeners The Helicopter Parent and the Spaghetti Parent?
  • Once parents understand and identify their parenting styles, how can they change?
  • 5 Top Tips for parents to takeaway.


Web Site:
DrFranWalfish.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

Filed under Health, Relationships, Family · Comments

January 31, 2011 @ 8:31 pm

The Ladder of Love

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Gabriella Hartwell, an Intuitive Relationship Life Coach and Author of the book "You Find Your Soul Mate When You Let Go of Searching" joined the show.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


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Gabriella Hartwell is an Intuitive Relationship Life Coach that resides on the island of Kauai in Hawaii and has been helping people with their relationships for many years now. People are naturally drawn to her compassionate, understanding and calm demeanor. She believes in the power of love and its capacity to allow the heart to heal so that it can embrace the love within and draw the love from others as well.

Gabriella is the Author of the book You Find Your Soul Mate When You Let Go of Searching and is currently writing her second book due out by October 2011, titled Rising Up the Ladder of Love: From Soul Mates to Twin Flame.

She is dedicated to helping you embrace the intense love that is waiting just over the horizon. In order to do so, it is important to realize that you deserve a life of happiness and to let go of the fear that stops you from walking into your destiny.

Gabriella also has a weekly radio show, an interactive blog on her website, free newsletter, live interactive chats to answer your questions and so much more. For more information visit EmergingSoul.com.


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Gabriella Hartwell discusses the following on this eHealth Radio Episode:

  • Your book is titled, "You Find Your Soul Mate When You Let Go of Searching", can you tell us how you suggest people let go of searching for love?
  • You mention the “ladder of love,” that there is a process to relationships, can you share this in more detail?
  • Even though there is more than one soul mate, should people still be looking for that special one, for their twin flame?
  • On your website, you say that twin flames are never separated, what do you mean by this?
  • What would you say to those who say they have been waiting and waiting for their twin flame and they are tired of waiting?
  • Don't Miss Special Conclusion Tip...


Web Site:
EmergingSoul.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

Filed under Health, Relationships, Matchmaking · Comments

January 31, 2011 @ 4:39 pm

How do we lose energy?

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Gurutej, known as the Energy Guru joins the show.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Gurutej is known as the Energy Guru. She has known since she was six years old that she wanted to lead others to their own inner self. She is a born leader, a creational genius, and a visionary thought leader. Her energy brightens your day, and her gift for lightness, comedy, and humor radiates with every breath and every word of her powerful message. An original disciple of Yogi Bhajan and a founding practitioner of Kundalini Yoga, Gurutej is one of a handful of Kundalini Yoga Masters in the world. She has taught people for over 40 years to connect to their essence through healing, meditation, yoga, and chanting. She lives and breathes the meaning of her Sikh name, “the one who brings you from darkness into light at the speed of light.”

Gurutej has created products the support and uplift humanity. She has 4 yoga DVDs 2 of which are listed in the top 10 yoga DVD’s of all time, Chakra pillows that are a line of channeled color and aroma therapy healing pillows, a new book A Slice of the Beloved a yogic based book supporting couples in creating delightful relationships. There are two new audio/video series launching in the New Year 2011. One is Get Your Skinny Back? She has also developed a series of highly innovative teachings called The Moon Centers revealing the challenges and gifts of each center and an indepth view of how they affect women. Tips and support so women can chart their moods and expose their gifts. These priceless teachings allow men to chart the cycles and support their partners in understanding these gifts for more ease less drama in the lives of all concerned.

Gurutej has created yoga centers throughout the United States and Canada. Her commitment to community outreach, philanthropy, the homeless, children, alternative education, and conscious living has been and is tireless. Free exercises for signing up on her site at www.gurutej.com.


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Gurutej discusses the following on this eHealth Radio Episode:

  • How do we lose energy?
  • Energy Cheaters What are they and do you use them?
  • What are some helpful Tips to make sure you have food with you that is real food to give you energy?
  • I understand there are exercices that can help us get our energy back what are 1-2 Exercises that you can do anywhere to get your energy back
  • Don't Miss Special Conclusion Tip...


Web Sites:
Gurutej.com
Twitter: @gurutej
Facebook: Gurutej-TheEnergyGuru


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

Filed under Health, Performance, Relationships · Comments

January 31, 2011 @ 3:02 pm

What Makes for a Strong Marriage?

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Christina Linnell the creator of "A Closet Writer" joins the show.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Christina has always dreamed of being a writer, little did she know that in her late thirties she would get the chance. The more she wrote random thoughts and snapshots about life, the more she heard from complete strangers that they could relate to her writings. Basic observations about what was going on in her own life resonated with so many.  This is all she needed to hear and "A Closet Writer" was born!

She is a wife, mom, sister, daughter, Christian & humorist.  Life is pretty darn good! Regardless of what is actually going on, she is a GLASS HALF FULL kind of gal!  When you read her blog her sincere prayer is that you will laugh, smile, feel hope & come back again and again. "Wash, rinse & repeat that’s all I’m saying" ~ Christina!

You can connect with Christina on Twitter & Facebook. You can also find her over at BizChickBlogs.com as the Relationships and Family Editor. Christina has been married to Dan for fifteen years and they have 3 beautiful children.  She loves meeting new people, so come on over!


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Christina Linnell discusses the following on this eHealth Radio Episode:

  • How long have you been married?
  • What do you think makes for a strong marriage?
  • How long have you been blogging?
  • How do you balance your family/friends with your writing?
  • Do you ever worry about sharing too much about your children or family?
  • Don't miss the Tip in Conclusion...


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

Filed under Health, Personal Development, Relationships · Comments

January 31, 2011 @ 10:06 am

Dont’ Stay Stuck on Stupid!

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Tiffani Murray, the creator of the Stuck on Stupid Book Series and a freelance writer joins the show. She talks about what brought on the inspiration to write her popular book series and to point at, at worse case scenario - dont' stay stuck on stupid!


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


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T. Murray is a seasoned writer contributing content on a multitude of topics, including love and relationships, for over 10 years. A single woman just entering her thirties, T. Murray has been through just about everything and can relate to women who have been careless in love, confused or left to cry alone in the dark.

As the author of Stuck on Stupid: A Guide for Today’s Single Woman Stuck in Yesterday’s Stupid Relationships  (www.StuckonStupidBooks.com) T. Murray has appeared on radio and television, hosting book signings on both the east and west coasts. She's been featured in Money, Redbook and Black Enterprise Magazines and quoted on CNNMoney, ABCNews.com and Reuters. She's been heard on Atlanta stations V-103, STAR 94 and WAOK.  T. Murray also wrote the feature article "Bringing Sexy Back to the Bedroom" for Black Health Magazine. She was the Dating Connection columnist for the Atlanta based PeachConnection.com. & has launched her relationship writing with Match.com.

In 2010 Murray was featured in both Money and Black Enterprise magazines which covered her ability to use writing as a source of income.  In the fall of 2010, Glamour.com called her relationship book “hilarious” pointing out the use of humor to help women with dating issues.  Ms Murray also appeared in the January 2009 issue of Upscale Magazine and the March 2009 issue of Redbook Magazine regarding her book Stuck on Stupid in the article “Thrive Outside Your Comfort Zone.” She also participated in the fall 2008 Your Way Singles TeleSymposium with her presentation “Stuck in a Bad Relationship? Symptoms, Signs & Getting Unstuck.” She was a showcased author in the May 2008 Atlanta Press Club event, From Journalist to Author: Stories from the Trenches. She is also the Content Manager for the newly launched love and relationship site FlaglerHill.com, writing and managing 8 bloggers.

With the release of the second book, Stuck on Stupid: A Guide for Today’s Professional Stuck in a Rut, she is sharing practical advice for professionals.  From being laid off or downsized to making moves to get out of a profession that doesn’t appeal to your passions, this book will help professionals and business owners work on getting unstuck.  Featured in magazines and writing for some of the best sites on the web, Murray is recognized as a talent and her take on life leaves an imprint on others.


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T. Murray discusses the following on this eHealth Radio Episode:

  • Tell us about your book series - Stuck on Stupid Books
  • I see you have a book on relationships. What can you tell us about that book and why you wrote it?
  • What do you think are some of the common unhealthy relationship situations people stay stuck in? Why do people stay stuck in them?
  • What would you tell someone who is stuck to do to change their situation, especially with Valentine's Day coming up?
  • Where can listeners find out more about your book or contact you for relationship advice?
  • Do not miss this episodes "Tip in Conclusion"...


Web Sites:
StuckonStupidBooks.com
Twitter: @SOSBooks


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

Filed under Health, Dating, Personal Development, Relationships · Comments

January 31, 2011 @ 8:04 am

Small changes to make giving us healthier relationships

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Danielle Ratcliff of 'Empower Defense and Life Skills' joined the show. She discusses with show host Eric Michaels small things we could be doing daily to have healthier relationships.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Danielle Ratcliff of Empower Defense and Life Skills has worked in both the government and private sector for over 17 years,  helping families and individuals to overcome their pasts, through instilling skills and knowledge that in turn empowers them to make better decisions for themselves and with others. She now, with her husband Jason, has started Empower Defense and Life Skills LLC where they offer workshops for both self defense and personal development.


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Abbreviated Transcript of Interview with Danielle Ratcliff


Eric Michaels: How do you think we can learn to have stronger healthy relationships?
Danielle Ratcliff: We live in a society that pushes the ideals of individuals and their rights, and what has not been stressed,  is that with those rights comes our responsibilities. This can also be said when we enter into relationships with others. The first thing we need to do is to realize that we are not the center of the relationship, that a relationship is at least 2 people. If we wanted everything done our way then we should have stayed by ourselves. We need to be responsible for what we say, the actions we take and the way we choose to display our emotions with others. If we learn to respond with thought and caring and not have a knee jerk, careless reaction to situations, then we will have healthier relationships with less causalities.


Eric Michaels: How can we communicate more effectively?
Danielle Ratcliff: Communication is not necessarily what we say but how we say it. We need to communicate with the three C's: Caring, Caring, and Caring. I know that there is a lot more than entailed when learning the art of communication but if the underpinning motive of our communication is that we CARE about the other person then we are considering the impact of what we are saying and it will resonate in our tone and also in body language in a positive way.


Eric Michaels: How can people show that they care about each other?
Danielle Ratcliff: Cary Chapman has a book out called the 5 Love Languages. It is a great book, but it is it's concept I love. This is that we do not love the same way, what one person sees as someone showing love is not same as another. It is important that we take the time to find out what is important to our partner and how they gauge that they are loved. My husband feels loved when I clean the house, I feel loved when he spends time with me. Discover what causes your partner to feel loved. You may be surprised. Not all women want you to buy them lots of diamonds and not all Men want you to be the best cook.


Eric Michaels: When we look at relationships with others what do you see are 3 strengths we should bring to the table?
Danielle Ratcliff: Good listener – if we are a good listener we listen not only with our ears but also with our eyes.  At least 70% of our communication is through our non-verbal communication, not just the words we say.  A good listener watches facial features, the emotion behind what is being said and listens to tone of voice.  Resiliency – This is my favorite strength as it is when we choose to not allow the situations around us to dictate how we feel , then they do not impact on how we behave. Flexibility – We need to compromise and learn to give and take. If we don't there wont be any winners, especially not in our relationships.


Eric Michaels: Are there some small changes that we can make that can help us have healthier relationships?
Danielle Ratcliff: If we learn how to literally hold our tongue and listen to the other person, we allow ourselves to think of what needs to be said to reach a win/win outcome. Don't name call, as we will be spending all our time apologizing rather than addressing the issue at hand. Wait to talk when you are both in the right frame of mind to listen. Whenever possible use humor, it softens the blow.


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Want the entire audio version of this eHealth Radio Episode?


Don't Miss Special Conclusion Tip...


Web Site:
EmpowerDLS.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

Filed under Health, Personal Development, Relationships · Comments

January 10, 2011 @ 8:33 am

Preparing for Sudden Change

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Marriage and Family Therapist - Denise Ross joins the show. She has a clinical practice in North County San Diego and has been practicing since 1991. Denise specializes on immediate tools to help clients feel better emotionally; gain a stronger inner sense of self, and improved relationship skills.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Denise Ross, MA, Marriage and Family Therapist has a clinical practice in North County San Diego since 1991. Denise specializes on immediate tools to help clients feel better emotionally; gain a stronger inner sense of self, and improved relationship skills. Denise specializes in working with adults, Individually and Couples on relationship issues, Life transitions, Stress reduction, and as a Collaborative Divorce Coach.

Denise graduated from Lesley College in Cambridge, Mass. in 1985 with a Bachelor of Science degree from the Graduate Department with a specialization in Family Counseling. She interned in a Mass. State Family Therapy Day Treatment facility in Newton, Mass leading group therapy counseling. Denise returned to Ca. and graduated with a Master’s degree, a Certified Pupil Personnel Services Credential, and a Lifetime College Instructor Credential from USIU in 1987.  In 1991 she passed the Behavioral Board of Sciences Exam and became a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.

Professional Memberships include: Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego: Coach, the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists: Clinical member and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists: Clinical Member. She worked in San Diego City Schools with Severely Emotionally Disturbed Students as a District Counselor and Vista Academy of Performing Arts as a School Counselor 1983-2000. During those years she taught numerous public seminars on parenting to the San Diego, Encinitas,  & Vista School districts on various topics.  Recently she has been the Therapist speaker at the Mira Costa Second Saturday Divorce workshop for Women.

2009, Denise serves on the Board of Directors for the California Family Law Group of San Diego, s a Divorce Coach in the Collaborative Process of  Divorce. Member and Business partner for Women’s Global Network. Micro financed Women’s small businesses in Bukoba, Tanzania.


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Edited Transcript of Interview with Denise Ross


Eric Michaels: To be on top of our game in every aspect of our lives we must be stable mentally. where do you work with an individual client or patient who has an issue with depression?
Denise Ross: To be at the top of your game depends on a few important factors to  function at your best.  Good physical health, exercising, eating well and getting enough rest. Emotional stability, personal fulfillment, job satisfaction, and some form of spiritual belief system. Feeling mildly depressed happens to everyone from time to time. But it's temporary. Actual depression reduces function on all the above areas. As a therapist the first thing I do is  give clients the opportunity to describe what's going on and how they feel about it. Each of us has our "story"  to tell. It's important to give time for the story to be told, the problems to surface,  trust  to be built & rapport established.   If  signs and symptoms of depression are evident as the client talks, I  will use a assessment form that identifies depression and anxiety. If the client scores high on the scale then we develop a plan to reduce the depression symptoms which would include increasing exercise, more positive friendship/family time, on going counseling sessions to learn coping tools, and if they are open to it, getting an evaluation for antidepressants.


Eric Michaels: What is the most common area where people come to you for help?
Denise Ross: As a Marriage and Family Therapist most of my work is related to Relationships and mood disorders such as Depression and Anxiety. Marital issues like communication breakdowns, and lack of intimacy are common reasons couples seek counseling. Individuals  wanting a meaningful relationships or yearning for improvement in functioning more effectively in life. Emotional shifts such as  Depression,  Anxiety, or Family problems, Parenting help, Separation, Infidelity, Lack of positive feelings about oneself or Divorce.


Eric Michaels: How about change, what is the best approach to dealing with sudden change such as a death, separation or divorce?
Denise Ross: Unexpected changes create the most upset in someone's world due to the shock of it. Without  time to prepare for the change it can sometimes push people into feelings of depression. An elderly parent dying slowly gives loved ones time to say good bye and emotionally make closure. A feuding couple who starts talking about separating, and then does has had time to emotionally get ready for the change. But sudden, unexpected changes throw people into feeling a loss of control, which can be devastating.  Emotionally they have to play catch up. if a partner suddenly decides to end the relationship, generally the partner who is leaving has be planning it alone in their own head for a while. The person  who has been suddenly left, has been under the assumption  that the relationship still viable and feels sideswiped by the change in course by their partner. A client recently came in who's husband died suddenly of a heart attack,  and another one this week whose spouse announced wanting a divorce. The approach I use to help is to first validate the feelings of the client, assure them that the feelings they are having are real. Clients are in a lot of pain that the situation has thrust upon them. Talking about it with someone who is not also impacted like other family members, helps to give the person a safe place to release the pain.


Eric Michaels: What do you feel is the #1 fear within the people you work with?
Denise Ross: Fear creeps in at a core level and generally  created at a young age. It becomes what's called a Core Issue. Core issues are always present and it seems like you've felt this way forever!   Fear is sometimes expressed in ways that don't look like fear.. anger is sometimes masking the real feelings. Some of the core issues that show up as fear are, fear of what others think, fear of not being good enough and fear of doing something wrong and being judged unfavorably. In my practice I spend time working with individuals to first identifying these core issues and  then use techniques to start a healing process so we can change or resolve those uncomfortable feelings. I might use a technique called EMDR or Positive Psychology.


Web Site:


CoastTherapyServices.com


Office:


Denise Ross, MA.
Marriage & Family Therapist Psychotherapy
374 N. Hwy 101 Suite F
Leucadia, Ca. 92024


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Want audio version of this eHealth Radio episode with Denise Ross?


Don't miss her Conclusion Tip...


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

Filed under Health, Personal Development, Relationships · Comments

January 7, 2011 @ 6:29 pm

Blind Spots We Aren’t Aware Of In Every Day Life

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Richard Himmer of PyrBlu Inc. coaching company joined the show. He shared with us how important communication is from a different angle - beware of blind spots!


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


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Richard Himmer has always been a teacher and a coach. He specializes in coaching couples and parents. Learning to develop a safe space in which to communicate is a skill that can buy you happiness in the home and financial success at work. 

He has developed his own systems that teach people how to change behavior and increase confidence in their relationships. This is not counseling, but coaching. He teaches you to look forward in your relationships, not backwards. His systems are very effective in sales, management and with entrepreneurs. 

He is the proud father of 5 boys and 2 granddaughters, Abigail and Ellie Mae. He and his wife Cheri of 28 years can often be found dedicating their time to supporting and teaching local youth groups.


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Abbreviated Transcript of Interview with Richard Himmer


Eric Michaels: What is a Blind Spot?

Richard Himmer: A blind spot is a belief or a behavior that signals a red flag to anyone to whom your conversing, the key is you probably don't know about it. But your credibility, trust and respect are all at risk. Notice in fact here, that love, or affection or I like this person is not being discussed that's actually a different subject. Let me kind of explain what a blind spot is by telling you a story.

Remember the rock band Van Halen? On tour, the band would show up with nine 18-wheelers full of gear. Because of the technical complexity, the band’s standard contract for venues (concert halls and stadiums) was thick and convoluted. It required the venue’s stagehands to pay close attention the contract’s details in order to properly prep for the band’s arrival. If the management of the venue did not adequately conduct their due diligence in reading the contract, it compromised Van Halens’ ability to setup in time for the show. Furthermore, it put the show at risk for an electrical malfunction if the contract was not followed with precision. In a stroke of genius, Van Halen’s lead singer, David Lee Roth, embedded an obscure clause in the middle of the contract that became known as clause 126 and read something like this:


"There will be no brown M&Ms in the backstage area, upon pain of forfeiture of the show, with full compensation."


Upon arrival at the venue, Roth would walk backstage to check out the M&M bowl. If he saw any brown ones he knew the contract had not been thoroughly read and it was very likely they were going to have a technical error.  He would then demand a line check of the entire production. Without knowing it, the venue, by not reading the contract, operated with a huge blind spot completely unknown until Mr. Roth ordered a line check or full payment. That's a blind spot.


Eric Michaels: What would be a few Blind Spots in marriage?

Richard Himmer: I know what you mean: Your spouse comes home from work and tells you the detailed story of frustration with incompetent co-workers and know-it-all managers. Having some corporate experience you nod your head in attentive agreement, signaling you are present, and in the right moment, between breaths you say: “I know what you mean.”

Now that the wind has been transferred to your sail, he mutters a few more diatribes of frustration and moves on. Your attempt to relate and console had an inverse effect. You are not getting the honor of a frustrated spouse so you can relive your past. Your partner needs a sounding board. Someone who is really present and interested in what they have to say.

With skill, you can develop the ability to question and get to the root cause of the frustration. Many times there is more to the story than the emotional surface version related within the confines and safety of home.

Furthermore, you have no idea what he experienced at work. It doesn’t matter how much corporate experience you’ve had, you are not your spouse/partner/friend/child/or whatever. Any time you attempt to relate, you change the focus of attention and remove trust and respect from the mutual space. That space is no longer safe any longer.


Eric Michaels: So, if "I know what you mean..." is a blind spot, how about "if I were you..." that sounds like a blind spot to me. Richard Himmer: You are not, so don't try. That is judging. If you are asked for your opinion, that's fine, but offering your opinion when none is requested is seeking agreement and manipulative. This is the Solution King at his best. Typically the male gender is guilty of problem solving within the marriage, but this is not an absolute. Early in my marriage, whenever Cheri explained a problem to me, I felt it was incumbent upon me to solve the problem. It took me years to figure out how much this irritated my bride. She would explain a frustration or a problem and without so much as a clarifying question, I would spew out a brilliant solution that only I could think of. In my mind, these solutions, if written down, could be the equivalent of Presidential memoirs. Gradually, Cheri discontinued sharing her frustrations with me, and when she did, she was very selective. I wasn’t very present during those times, and it wasn’t until a friend clued me into the concept of listen don’t solve. The moment I heard that I was intrigued. Having experienced some heightened emotional dialogues with my wife I sought for an opportunity to try something different.

I remember the first time I practiced the skill, I came home from work and asked her how the day went. She was guarded in her response, only because she didn’t think the memoirs needed additional chapters, and she glossed over her day. I knew there was something beneath her answer because of who she dealt with during the day, so I probed. She really wanted to talk about it but it was clear she didn’t feel safe. As she warmed up to the story, I could feel me warming up to a solution. Thank goodness I caught myself before I violated her trust again, so I asked, “Am I listening or am I solving?” What a breath of fresh air that was in our shared space and our marriage. I was no longer heavy baggage at the end of the day trying to manipulate myself into her growth pattern. She freely let me have the entire story and I listened, asked questions, and listened some more. It worked so good, she has even told me that I could solve once or twice since that day. Wow! Was that exciting.

Over the years as we’ve discussed this issue, Cheri has pointed out that she just wanted someone to listen to her. She knew what to do, but airing the problem with a trusted confidant strengthened her resolve and brought clarity to her solution.

Learning to ask good questions without judgment greatly adds to the space when she shares intimate parts of her life. When I listen without solving or interjecting opinions, there is a deeper level of trust and respect, the two required ingredients for intimacy. And intimacy is the end result of a successful and happy marriage.


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Want the entire audio version of this eHealth Radio Episode? Richard Himmer discusses & answers:

  • Gives a few more blind spots that we should be aware of...
  • Special Conclusion Tip...


Recommended Web Sites: PyrBlu.com TrustInMarriage.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

Filed under Health, Personal Development, Relationships · Comments

January 6, 2011 @ 9:26 am

Why sexual energy is such an important part of life

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Certified Tantra Educator Dawn Beck joined the show to discuss tantra, what it is, how it can be useful in ones life as a single or in a couple.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Dawn Beck and Gerard Gatz are a Conscious Loving couple. They are Certified Tantra Educators through the Source School of Tantra with Charles Muir, Maui. In both their home city of Boulder, CO, as well as traveling, they offer transformational Tantra based workshops and private coaching for individuals and couples.


Private Sessions

Message from Dawn


Dawn and Gerard offer private Tantra and Sacred Sexuality educational sessions. We are committed to sharing their knowledge and experience of Sacred Sexuality with you.  We are delighted to guide and assist you in awakening your pleasure, bliss and wholeness in your heart, mind, body and spirit.  We cherish the opportunity to help you connect your heart and your spirit with your sexuality with the intention of deepening your capacity for connection, pleasure, joy and Love! We are honored to work with you as an individual or in a couple. Each session is as unique as the individual or couple, so to begin our process of private sessions, we will request that you fill out a personal profile before we meet so that we can better get to know you, your experience and your desires.  This will enable us to customize each session to meet your personal needs.


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Notes/Abbreviated Transcript from Interview with Dawn Beck


Eric Michaels: What is Tantra?

Dawn Beck: The word Tantra comes from ancient Sanskrit language meaning “expansion through awareness.”  Tantra is a spiritual path that involves practices that use breath, sounds, movements and symbols to quiet the mind and activate sexual energy. The energy generated by Tantra can be used for pleasure, blissful enlightenment and sexual healing. When practiced by oneself, a powerful flow of energy emerges from within and awakens the essence of your being. When this essence is shared with another, your Love is expanded in a Sacred and Conscious way within yourself, with your partner and the universe. Through the practice of Tantra, you are able to connect with and raise your energetic awareness to increase pleasure and intimacy. With this awareness, your loving soars into the highest realms of bliss and connection that you’ve only dreamed of.


Eric Michaels: What inspired you to study and practice Tantra?

Dawn Beck: Well let's see...I was in a fairly new relationship about 2 years going really having a beautiful time in the relationship, we were very connected, passionate, sweet and wonderful. Both my partner and I, we felt like we wanted to learn more about our own energies and how we could connect our own energies to each other and to take what we already had, the core of what we had and create even more depth and connection...


Eric Michaels: How can Tantra and Sacred Sexuality be useful in ones life as a single or in a couple?

Dawn Beck: That's an interesting question because a lot of people will call me or email me and say that I am really interested in tantra but I'm not in a relationship so there is nothing I can really do and just need to wait until I am in a relationship in order to practice, in order to study and that is absolutley not true. There are so many benefits for first of all being single, being an individual not in a relationship and starting the practice of tantra...


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Want the entire audio version of this eHealth Radio Episode? Dawn Beck discusses & answers:

  • Why is sexual energy such an important part of life?
  • What are some ways to start exploring this practice?


Reccomended Web Sites:
TantricSacredJourneys.com
SourceTantra.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

Filed under Health, Performance, Intimacy Advice, Relationships, Sexual Health · Comments

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