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April 19, 2011 @ 11:40 am

It Just Hasn’t Happened Yet with Dr. Karin Anderson

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Associate Professor of Psychology and Counselor Education at Concordia University Chicago & author of the book "It Just Hasn’t Happened Yet" - Dr. Karin Anderson joins the show.


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Born in Cincinnati, Ohio, Karin Anderson is currently an associate professor of Psychology and Counselor Education at Concordia University Chicago.  She received her doctorate in developmental psychology from Northern Illinois University and has delivered a number of well-received presentations at national and international psychology conferences, covering issues such as identity development and family dynamics.

She first became interested in the psychology of women when she began to examine the complex emotions involved in her own engagement to be married.  As she questioned her motivations for marriage, she pondered women’s roles and options in the post-feminism era.  How much had really changed?  After months of internal conflict, she ended up calling off her wedding two months before it was to occur.

Back “out there” in the dating scene, she became keenly aware of the messages directed toward single women—messages that appeared disparaging and illogical, yet hailed from reliable sources such as the local bookstore’s self-help section.  Drawing on the data of other academic researchers and firsthand accounts of the many women she interviewed personally,  Anderson wrote It Just Hasn’t Happened Yet as an effort to provide a logical counter-message of encouragement.

A compelling teacher and speaker, Anderson speaks to groups on women’s issues, single adulthood, developmental psychology, and family relationships.  For more information, visit AuthenticallyMe.com.


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Dr. Karin Anderson discusses & answers the following:

  • What inspired you to write It Just Hasn't Happened Yet?
  • Why did you see a need for yet another book about dating/relationships?
  • Do you have a sense of how readers are responding to your book?
  • Have you heard any unfavorable feedback in reaction to your message?
  • Tell us about your website, AuthenticallyMe.com.
  • Where can we purchase It Just Hasn't Happened Yet?
  • Tip in Conclusion...

Links: AuthenticallyMe.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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Filed under Health, Dating, Relationships, Women · Comments

March 27, 2011 @ 4:32 pm

Realizing He Was Different with J.C. Knudson

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J.C. Knudson author of the book Living the Difference joins the show. As an entrepreneur and small businessman, he holds a bachelor’s degree in accounting and business administration. Knudson and his ex-wife are the parents of two adopted sons; today, Knudson lives with his partner in Oklahoma City.


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J.C. Knudson Lives the Difference, Brings Experience to Memoir of Being Gay in America

Joseph "J.C." Knudson is an author on a mission to educate the world's population about understanding and accepting people who are gay. His first book, a memoir, is called Living the Difference (2010, Espresso House Publishing). Its subtitle is "An Enlightening Story Revealed For People of All Ages, Straight or Gay."

Editorial reviews of Knudson's book call Living the Difference "a fascinating journey no gay author has been able to capture to date," "conquering the final frontier of bigotry and ignorance," and "filled with love, hate, joy, sorrow and much more."

Living the Difference also turned up on Vonnie Faroqui's book blog, Writers in the Sky. Faroquai calls the memoir "remarkably under-sensationalized," praising Knudson's honest storytelling style that leaves the reader to draw his or her own conclusions. She mentions how Living the Difference lifts the curtain on the so-called "gay lifestyle," revealing a human portrait that resonates regardless of gender or sexual orientation. It's a portrait of success, of meaning, and of hope.

From Faroquai's description, Living the Difference seems to be an important resource for young gay men living with fear, shame or self-loathing; or for anyone coming to terms with a friend or family member's coming out. Knudson, it seems, told his story not to shock, offend or "convert" anyone, but simply to lay out a roadmap for acceptance. The book lights a candle against the darkness of ignorance.

The podcast of J.C.'s recent interview with Vonnie Faroqui can be found here. To learn more about J.C. Knudson, along with details of his book, go to thegaylyblogger.blogspot.com.


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J.C. Knudson discusses & answers the following:

  • J.C. the book you have written, Living the Difference, is biographical in nature and yet there’s more going on than the sharing of memoirs.  What inspired you to begin writing and what is the motivation for you to let readers inside your life in this way?
  • In the book you write of your childhood attractions, crushes and subsequent confusion about what was considered appropriate attractions by those around you. Can you share with our listeners a little of your experiences and how you were impacted?
  • Do you think that you were confused about what or rather who you were attracted to or was the confusion you describe centered in discovering that your attractions were different from those of other children, that you were somehow different.
  • How do you think that early confusion affected you?
  • As an adult looking back at those early years do you see a shift in cultural perception or religious teachings toward or about homosexuality?


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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Filed under Health, Relationships, Sexual Health · Comments

March 2, 2011 @ 10:08 pm

Love and Fat with Zen Gray

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Zen Gray, a fitness coach and Chicago native currently living in Los Angeles joins the show. She is newly engaged and rescued a very cute puppy from the West LA Animal Shelter after running her first marathon in December.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode!


Zen Gray is most recognized on the street from being on Season One and Season Two of Work Out, Bravo TV’s docu-drama on the lives of personal trainers. She's also written and hosted amusing fitness tips on ExerciseTV called, "The Skinny" - segments that illuminate the challenges of staying fit, provide commentary on popular methods and training videos, and suggest easy ideas to help you stay healthy while living a normal life.

Zen is an A.C.E. Certified fitness professional with over 17 years of experience in group fitness instruction and personal training. She has a Bachelor’s degree in Advertising from the University of Illinois and is very involved with Project Angel Food, the Sirens Society and the AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA) charity - where she helped raise over $600,000 for AIDS research by running in her first marathon.

Zen's current passions include: writing her blog "Love and Fat", training for her first fitness competition, speaking to groups about making healthy lifestyle changes, teaching her new puppy NOT to go on the carpet, and planning her wedding.


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Zen Gray discusses & answers the following:

  • You have a blog entitled "Love and Fat". Is there a relationship?
  • Could you describe the four ways that you believe love can affect body weight?
  • Are you just talking about intimate relationships?
  • What kinds of exercise do you recommend?
  • How else can we battle love handles?
  • Conclusion Tip...


Web Site:
ZenGray.com


Blog:
LoveandFat.wordpress.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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Filed under Health, Relationships, Weight Loss · Comments

February 27, 2011 @ 12:36 pm

How does low libido affect a woman’s general health?

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Dr. Irwin Goldstein, Director of Sexual Medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego and editor-in-chief of The Journal of Sexual Medicine joined the show. Dr. Goldstein has been involved with sexual dysfunction research since the late 1970's. He has authored more than 325 publications in the field of sexual dysfunction.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode!


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Dr. Goldstein has been involved with sexual dysfunction research since the late 1970's. His interests include penile microvascular bypass surgery, surgery for dyspareunia, sexual health management post cancer treatment, physiologic investigation of sexual function in men and women, and diagnosis and treatment of sexual dysfunction in men and women. Dr. Goldstein has authored more than 350 publications in the field of sexual dysfunction, and edited books on erectile dysfunction and on women’s sexual health. He is Editor-in Chief of The Journal of Sexual Medicine, the official journal of the International Society for Sexual Medicine, its regional affiliate societies, and the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health. Dr. Goldstein is Director of Sexual Medicine at Alvarado Hospital, Clinical Professor of Surgery at University of California at San Diego and Director of San Diego Sexual Medicine where he maintains his clinical practice.

Dr. Goldstein holds a bachelor’s degree in engineering from Brown University, with an honors thesis in biomedical engineering.  In 1975, he graduated from McGill University Faculty of Medicine in his hometown of Montreal, Quebec, Canada.  He was on the faculty of Boston University School of Medicine for 25 years where he was Professor of Urology and Gynecology and founding Director of the former Institute for Sexual Medicine at BUSM. Dr. Goldstein is currently President of The Institute for Sexual Medicine, Inc., a charitable corporation for education and research in the field.

He is Secretary of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health, a former President of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America, and a member of the International Society for Sexual Medicine, the International Academy of Sex Research, the American Urological Association, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, and the International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease.


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Dr. Irwin Goldstein discusses & answers the following:

  • Describe how low libido affects a woman.
  • How does low libido affect a woman's general health?
  • What are symptoms that women should be looking for?
  • At what age do women commonly begin to experience low libido?
  • What treatments are available for this condition?
  • Special Tip in Conclusion


Web Sites: SexualMed.org


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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Filed under Health, Relationships, Women, Sexual Health · Comments

February 25, 2011 @ 9:37 pm

The MAJOR obstacle in achieving weight-loss

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James Camastra who has 15 years of personal training experience and is President and Founder of Progressive Personal Training, located in the Chelsea neighborhood of NYC joins the show. He has recently been voted one of the “Top 5 Personal Trainers in NYC” in Best of Citysearch 2010 and completed a Master’s of Science in Exercise Science.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode!


James graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelor’s of Science from SUNY CORTLAND, was inducted into Kappa Delta Pi (an international honor society in education), and won the National Physical Education and Health Award.  James continued with his education and earned his Master’s of Science in Exercise Science, Human Performance and Injury Prevention, from the California University of Pennsylvania. He is an ACSM certified Health Fitness Specialist and an NASM certified Performance Enhancement Specialist.


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James Camastra discusses & answers the following:

  • As an experienced-professional trainer, when you hear Weight Loss, what comes to mind?
  • In your 15 years of training clients, what has been the MAJOR obstacle in achieving weight-loss? 
Consistency!- As it pertains diet and exercise.
  • Aside from being consistent with our diet and exercise routine, what other obstacles can delay weight loss?
  • Now that you mentioned common obstacles, what is the secret to successful weight-loss?
  • So James, you specialize in fitness, how do you keep your clients motivated to keep working out?
  • Special Tip in Conclusion...


Web Site: progressivepersonaltraining.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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Filed under Health, Relationships, Weight Loss, Reflux · Comments

February 18, 2011 @ 1:44 pm

Agenda Organization Can Help You Have More Healthier Relationships

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Arash Afshar, also known by his stage name as (Mr) Arash, who is an artist, filmmaker, photographer, writer, most well known as member of hip-hop group, the Diego Brown Project joined the show. to discuss the importance of taking care of you enroute to taking care of others.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Born in San Diego, CA, Arash Afshar is the son of Iranian parents who migrated to the United States after the Iranian Revolution. He spent four years living in Iran in his youth but has called San Diego home for the majority of his life. After graduating from San Diego State University, Arash worked as an event planner and marketing professional, trying his hand at several start-ups before succumbing to his dream. Today, he is working to establish himself as a filmmaker and professional artist and is most well known as (Mr)Arash, member of the hip-hop group, Diego Brown Project, where he serves as backup vocalist and visual artist. He is also currently working on a social media book aimed at small businesses and serves as the San Diego Starving Artist columnist for Examiner.com. Arash lives in the North Park neighborhood of San Diego with his girlfriend and their two cats.


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Abbreviated Transcript of Interview with Arash Afshar


Eric Michaels: How do you juggle a serious relationship while keeping your commitments with photo shoots, video shoots, interviews, performing live, touring, etc.?
Arash Afshar: There is quite a bit that goes into this but one major thing is that I keep a very strict schedule and I live by my calendar. I grew up with a lot of anxiety and have actually seen therapists about my anxiety. One lesson that came out of the therapy sessions was that I should keep a planner and schedule my day so I don't have to worry about trying to remember things. After a few months we discovered that I am some kind of a planning/organizational wiz-kid and a meticulous planner with great imagination and ability to plan things ahead of time - I call this the "Film-maker's Wiring." I plan my week in great detail and make sure to set time aside to spend quality, one-on-one time with my girlfriend. I discovered that when you keep a tight schedule, friends and family will fight it at first but learn to respect it over time. I imagine partly because when they do have your attention, it’s full and sincere rather than distracted and irritable.


Eric Michaels: OK so that can’t be all of it. Just keeping a strict schedule. I imagine a music video shoot, for example, is a 12-15 hour day. What do you do with weeks where you’re absolutely booked up?
Arash Afshar: Yes well keeping a schedule is just a starting point. It’s something you should do whether you’re in a relationship or not. Over the years I’ve learned more about myself and my relationship through educating myself on psychology and relationships as well as by practicing mindfulness meditation.


Eric Michaels: Educating yourself by reading books?
Arash Afshar: Yes. Books, audio books, psychology articles, podcasts such as this for example! My cousin was the person in my life who introduced me to the idea of self-help and personal growth through self education. He gave me this book many years ago named How to be a CEO, and he gave me this great piece of advice: If you get just ONE good idea out of this book, then it was worth it. Most people seem to have this all-or-nothing attitude. Like if they read a self-help book, it has to either be a religious awakening or it’s a waste of time. Which is ridiculous. Even if one idea in the book sticks with you, you’re a few steps ahead. In regards to relationships, I would recommend reading “If It’s Heartbreak, It Can Be Healed” Dr. Chuck Spezzano. Dr. Spezzano really approaches relationships from a “personal responsibility” standpoint - the idea that we are in charge of our own lives in every aspect - which is an idea that really resonated with me. The this he says which really kind of turned on the light bulb, if you will, was the notion that heartbreak is a selfish act. When someone does something that breaks our hearts and hurts our feelings, and we cry and feel beaten and abused, what we’re really doing on a subconscious level is that we are emotionally blackmailing the other person. We want them to hurt for breaking our personal rules of what life is supposed to be. So when thoughts of jealousy and feeling victimized surface, I make myself aware that taking the victom role is counterproductive and that we should focus on finding a solution rather than playing the pointless he-said-she-said game.


Eric Michaels: That has to be a tough pill to swallow for the average person. When people’s feelings are hurt, they become defensive. You’re describing a level of awareness that is extremely difficult for most people to aspire to.
Arash Afshar: Well that’s where mindfulness meditation comes in to play. I keep a daily checklist of things to do. I try to finish at least 75% of this checklist daily. They range from little things like “do 20 push-ups” to more complex things like “write a new entry for Examiner.com column.” Just a side note: One of the things I have on my daily checklist is to do something nice for my girlfriend. Something as simple as a love note or a phone call. This alone has exponentially raised the quality of our relationship! And it is, actually, kind of a mindfulness practice, in essence. It keeps me aware of my love for her by forcing me to get creative so I can come up with a new sweet thing every day. It’s very easy to fall into a routine and part of mindfulness is about remember and being aware of what is most important in life. Back to the checklist: I have on my checklist to “sit” for 15 minutes a day. You don’t need to go to the mountains to meditate. Simply sitting and focusing on your breath calms your nerves and helps you become more aware of what’s happening right in front of you and keeps your mind from jumping to different branches of anxiety and resentment. A recent study from Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging showed that subjects who meditated 30 minutes a day for eight weeks had actual measurable changes in parts of the brain associated with memory, sense of self, empathy and stress. Just 15 minutes a day has made me more calm and more forgiving when the ugly couple fights arise. Being aware helps me remember simple little facts that we tend to forget when we get emotional such as the age old reality: in couples, both sides are always 100% sure that they’ve done more to help the relationship than the other side. Which is ridiculous - we know that to be an assumption, and yet it’s so easy to forget that little fact when we are actually in that heightened emotional state. I highly recommend reading “Full Catastrophe Living” by Jon Kabat-Zinn, the man most credited with bringing meditation practices into western medicine.


Eric Michaels: So you’re keeping a daily checklist, a strict schedule, you’re meditating... And all of this has helped your relationship and has helped you juggle being a performer - a hip-hop artist - with being in a serious and committed relationship. If you don’t mind me saying, all this advice sounds like it’s more about you than it is about the relationship.
Arash Afshar: Exactly!! I know it’s incredibly counter-intuitive but the advice that my therapists had given me years ago finally made sense to me in the past couple of years through self education and meditation: You have to focus on YOU. When you focus on yourself and when you work on becoming a better person, a better human being, you will marvel at how the world around you changes. Things don’t upset you as much anymore, you’re more patient and understanding. You are less passive aggressive because you are loving yourself the way you used to demand others do. It is very counter-intuitive because our culture preaches sacrifice - society teaches us that loving yourself is selfish. Well, a little bit of selfishness, it turns out, is a good thing! But it has to come with sincere intentions. I learned to focus on myself through reading The Passive Aggressive Man by Scott Wetzler. Now I don’t thing I’ve ever been quite as horrible and manipulative as some of the case studies in that book but I saw some of my patterns, non the less. The main point of the book is that we men become more passive aggressive and sabotage our relationships in response to feeling powerless. So, by that theory, if we focus on being more confident and focus on being better individuals and go after our dreams and speak our minds, we won’t subconsciously resort to backhanded ways of manipulating the people around us - to try to make them miserable like we are.


Web Site:


MrArash.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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February 3, 2011 @ 10:06 pm

How technology has changed relationships

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Debbie Nigro Founder and Chief Executive Babe of StillaBabe.com & Founding Partner of FirstWivesWorld.com joined the show. In a very entertaining episode of eHealth Radio Debbie Nigor tells is like it is are you ready to listen?


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


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Debbie Nigro is a multi-faceted, business and broadcasting entrepreneur and visionary. She has spent over twenty years applying her creative talents building unique start-up business opportunities, spotting trends and untapped niche markets, and developing successful concepts and content that drive revenue. Nigro's experience includes creating and implementing multi-platform media strategies typically including original powerful or humorous sponsor friendly content.

Her expertise includes;  blogging, online video, podcasting, radio, television, publishing, speaking engagements, television shopping, new product launches, program creation, breakthrough public relations concepts, media awareness, event and media sponsorships, and "unique" strategic introductions and alliances.

Debbie Nigro is the Founder and “Chief Executive Babe” of the recently launched StillABabe.com aimed at women over 40 feeling 20. The 40+ female demographic is currently the largest segment of the population with the most disposable income. The focus is on ‘finding the humor in falling apart’ and showcasing information, products and services that enhance this life stage.

Nigro is also one of the Founding Partners of First Wives World, LLC, and its "Chief Executive Girlfriend. The site was created to "educate, inspire and entertain the potential 30 million women in the U.S. who can relate to divorce on firstwivesworld.com. She is also a consultant to the producers of "The First Wives Club Musical," which is scheduled to premiere on Broadway in 2011.

Nigro's vision at for both StillABabe and First Wives World was based on her decade-long franchise, “The Working Mom on the Run.”  A pioneer in self-syndicated, female-targeted talk radio programming, Nigro built and ran her own radio and television syndication company from 1993 to 2000 to appeal to the then-untapped niche of working moms. During this time, she developed a reputation for creating award-winning branded programming with inventive product integration.  Her radio shows and vignettes aired in over 450 markets with the backing of corporations such as Avon, Blockbuster, General Mills and 7-Eleven. Further, she wrote, produced, and syndicated television features for network news broadcasts in over 60 U.S. markets.

Nigro wrote "The Working Mom On The Run Manual”  (aka What The Heck Happened To My Life?) and held her book tour at 7-Elevens throughout the U.S.  The book tour was one of the most successful promotions in the history of Southland Corporation.

Nigro also created a line of Working Mom On The Run loungewear that was a ‘best-seller of the week’ on The Home Shopping Network.

Nigro was the winner of the prestigious ‘Best Nationally Syndicated Talk Show of The Year’ – three years in a row, from American Women in Radio & Television. In addition to three ‘Gracie’ awards for Radio, the organization also honored her with the award for ‘Best Television News Feature.’ Nigro also made the list of the Top 100 Talk Show Hosts in the country more than once.

Her prior radio career spanned a decade, and included being a morning drive personality in NYC on what was then WPIX-FM.  Nigro was also a popular morning personality, news director, and sports reporter at various radio stations in the New York metropolitan area. She was an early recipient of the prestigious Matrix Award from Women In Communications.

Ms. Nigro, known for an idea-a-minute, created Out Of The Box Deals, Inc., to offer consulting services. Nigro excels in quickly assessing and identifying untapped opportunities for businesses and individuals, and creating introductions to like- minded partners to further their mission. Nigro has an established a niche for marketing to the 35-plus female markets. Ms. Nigro is a sought-after business advisor because of her consistently fresh-thinking and her unique relationships in multiple industries. Nigro is also an upbeat and repeat guest on many network television and radio shows, including CNN’s Headline News Channel, The Today Show, The CBS Early Show, CBS News, FOX's Morning Show with Mike & Juliet, NBC Weekend Today In New York, and others. Nigro was also featured on a reality television show, "Dinner Takes All," which first aired on TLC in September 2005. Nigro’s blogs about, 'Moving On' can be found at About.com's Divorce Channel. Ms. Nigro has also had success as a stand-up comic, appearing at the Gotham Comedy Club in NYC and at The New Orleans Comedy Festival in February 2009.


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Debbie Nigro discusses the following on this eHealth Radio Episode:

  • What makes you a relationship expert?
  • Is there any cut off on expectations for romance?
  • How has technology changed relationships?
  • What do you say to people who are disheartened with romance, either their marriage is flat or they're single and say they never meet anybody?
  • What's Your Best Relationship Tip?
  • You certainly DO NOT WANT to miss Debbie's Special Tip in Conclusion!


Web Sites:

StillaBabe.com


FirstWivesWorld.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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February 2, 2011 @ 6:54 pm

Things couples should do, to better prepare for marriage?

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Paula Holt who is the writer behind the blog, Marital Musings joined the show. She discusses marriage, the issues today and the hope if taken seriously.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


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People often ask Paula Holt why she writes about marriage. They are particularly curious when they find out she has a MBA and sold real estate before getting married and having children. The simple answer is that she finds marriage fascinating. She describes it as “a fundamental institution in our society that touches people on a very personal level.”

Paula first became interested in marriage more than 10 years ago. She was in her 30’s and had already seen a number of friends tie the knot. She had also seen several divorces and toxic relationships that seemed to be headed that way. She wondered what was going wrong and what people should do differently. Already a graduate of Stanford University and the Kellogg School of Management, Paula decided to forgo studying relationships through a degree program and educated herself through numerous articles, books and seminars. She has trained to facilitate several marriage education programs including Couple CommunicationTM and Money Habitudes.

In September of 2003 Paula got married. The next month she got pregnant, and the following month she moved from her hometown of Chicago to where her husband’s job had taken him, New York City. That started a period in Paula’s life when she was “ not so much interested in marriage as trying to survive it.”  Now seven years, a move back to Chicago, and two children later she is once again intrigued by marriage. Probably more so now because as she puts it “I have lived it and truly understand how amazing, difficult, and complex it can be.”

Paula launched her blog, Marital Musings to create an opportunity to explore her interest in marriage through writing. She posts information on the latest relationship research, comments on relationship stories in the media, and takes a look at the lighter side of things such as what it’s like to share a bathroom with your spouse. For her Marital Musings is a forum to talk to people about marriage and hopefully find some answers.


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Abbreviated Transcript of Interview with Paula Holt


Eric Michaels: Why did you start blogging about marriage?
Paula Holt: I think marriage is a fascinating topic and one that clearly plays a powerful role in our society. This is a particularly interesting time for marriage because we as a culture seem very conflicted about it. On the one hand you have the recent TIME/Pew Research Center Poll telling us that nearly 40% of Americans think marriage is obsolete, while on the other hand you have people enthralled with the wedding of Prince William. On a personal level I have been married for 7 years so the topic is very close to me. As I reflect on my own marriage and talk to married people around me, I am often struck by some of the issues that arise – those that are funny, and the ones that are very serious. I don’t believe I have all the answers, but I certainly have a lot of questions. So that’s really why I launched maritalmusings.com. I wanted to explore some of these questions and comment on both the serious and funny issues couples face. I also wanted to talk about marriage related stories in the news such as the Tiger Woods and John Edwards situations. I find the blog and the Marital Musings Facebook page great ways to pass on articles and information I think people might gain something from.


Eric Michaels: What topics have you found most interesting to write about?
Paula Holt: I’ve written a range of posts and all of them resonate with me for different reasons. I once wrote a piece called “The Sexful Marriage” because I felt compelled to defend married sex. I had seen several reports on TV about sexless marriages and I wanted to make it clear that while that is a problem that should be addressed, there are many married couples out there having active and satisfying sex lives. You don’t hear about it as much because married people often want to keep the details of their sex lives private. Another post I wrote that generated quite a few comments on the Marital Musings Facebook page was called “The Class Reunion”. In it I asked a question about whether or not you should bring your spouse to your high school reunion. People were split on this more than I expected. One wife had such a great time at her husband’s reunion she felt like an honorary member of the class, while another person said his wife should stay at home “because everyone ends up liking her better than me.” One of the things I most enjoy writing on the blog is a page called “10 Words or Less” It’s a collection of musings on a range of topics including communication, sex and how to make your marriage last, all written – you guessed it – in 10 words or less. The page has even inspired a book I will be publishing later this year.


Eric Michaels: How can you write about such complex issues in less than 10 words?
Paula Holt: It’s actually pretty easy. I find that with fewer words, sometimes the message is more powerful, funny or memorable. Take forgiveness for example. People often refer to the “act of forgiveness” but I don’t think that’s an accurate way to describe what it takes to forgive and go forward in your relationship. It makes it sound like it’s something that just happens. So what I say, and notice I only need 8 words here, is “Forgiveness is not an act, it’s a process”.  To me that better reflects the time it takes to truly move on when feelings have been hurt. Here’s one for all those people who loved the line “You complete me.” from the movie Jerry Maguire, which I must say is a line I consider overly romanticized and frankly a little unhealthy. What I believe, in 10 words or less of course is that “Nobody can complete you, but they should add value.” The point is you have to come to a relationship as a complete person; however, it’s great to find someone who brings out the best in you or can teach you new things. Although the book will contain many of these kinds of musings that will hopefully make people think, some will just make you laugh and say “Hey, that’s how it is in my marriage!” A few examples are “Numerous conversations take place with one spouse on the toilet.” and “You will be awakened by the phrase ‘Are you asleep?’ I don’t know anyone who hasn’t heard those words some time over the course of their relationship. For one of my favorite mini-musings I needed the full 10 words, “Planning for a wedding is not preparing for a marriage.”


Eric Michaels: Why is that one of your favorites?
Paula Holt: Couples spend so much time, money and energy planning their weddings, and so little time, if any, trying to work through issues they will face during the course of their marriage. This is even reflected in reality TV where you have shows like Bridalplasty with women competing to win plastic surgery procedures to get ready for their wedding. There’s another show simply dedicated to women trying to find the perfect wedding dress. On my blog I wrote about how NBC’s morning show TODAY has a contest each year and the couple selected wins a fantasy wedding held live on the show. I feel like they are missing an important opportunity to entertain and inform the audience by not requiring their couple to do anything to prepare for their marriage. Most couples seem to get caught up in the wedding frenzy and don’t really think about the marriage. People often assume their partner is on the same page about issues. Or sometimes they just avoid areas of conflict thinking they can deal with it later. Neither strategy is very effective.


Eric Michaels: What kinds of things should couples do to better prepare for marriage?
Paula Holt: One way that couples may already be familiar with is premarital counseling. Whether it’s through a church or you go to a therapist who works with couples, this process can be very helpful. It might even help with planning the wedding if the couple is having issues around money or family. Even the most famous engaged couple of our time, Prince William and Kate Middleton are meeting with senior British clergy to discuss issues like how to handle disagreements and how to prepare for the changes brought on by parenthood. Another option that is effective for both engaged couples and those who are already married is marriage education classes. There are numerous different courses available dealing with a range of topics such as communication, sex, and money. Some classes last for a day, some take place over several weeks, and then there are classes that can double as a vacation. These take place on cruise ships or beachfront locations. If you can’t go to a class there are many that are on DVD and can be done at home on your own schedule. I’ll make sure to put a link on maritalmusings.com with more information.


--Don't Miss Special Tip in Conclusion...


Web Sites:


MaritalMusings.com


Facebook.com/maritalmusings


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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February 2, 2011 @ 12:27 pm

Social Media Affecting the Way We Date

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Maria Avgitidis, whis a matchmaker and dating coach in New York City joins the show. She discusses the dating scene in New York and its culture, dating ideas and how social media is affecting how we date today.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Maria Avgitidis, or "The Date Coach", provides solutions in dating and relationships. As a fourth generation matchmaker, and founder of Agape Match, a full scale matchmaking firm based in NYC, Maria is an astute observer of how various personality types interact with each other. Together these skills allow her to find and nurture romantic relationships for her clients, and often help improve their platonic relationships as well. More information can be found out about Maria at MariaTheDateCoach.com and Agapematch.com.


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Maria Avgitidis discusses the following on this eHealth Radio Episode

  • How did you become a matchmaker?
  • What does Agape mean in Agape Match? [your matchmaking firm]
  • What is the hardest part about dating in NYC?
  • How has social media affected the way we date?
  • Valentine's Day is coming up... Do you celebrate even if you've only gone on 1 or 2 dates?
  • Favorite Date Ideas in NYC
  • Don't Miss Special Conclusion Tip...


Web Sites:
MariaTheDateCoach.com
AgapeMatch.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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Filed under Health, Dating, Online Dating, Relationships, Matchmaking · Comments

February 2, 2011 @ 10:35 am

Stay Away from the Color Yellow!

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Writer, Seif-Eldeine Och joined the show. Seif started a massive investigation into psychology and communication because of a traumatic breakup, experience with a con artist who took thousands upon thousands of dollars from him and his friends, and because of his personal experience dealing with drug problems, bi-polar and A.D.D. His knowledge is buoyed by his therapist, Harvey Kraslin, his psychiatrist, Dr. Anthony Tobacco, and his father, psychiatrist Dr. M. Rachid Och.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Seif-Eldeine Och is a graduate in Middle Eastern Studies from Tufts University, as well as a graduate from Milton Academy, from which writers such as T.S. Eliot and Rolling Stone Writer and Music Expert Toure graduated. At Milton Academy, he focused on English Studies and Creative Writing, taking double the course load required for both English and Art studies. A graduate course he took at Clark University called "Social Media and Marketing" convinced him blogging and other forms of social media were the wave of the future for writers and for artists. His work can be found by searching Seif_eldeineo at www.scribd.com and at www.blindsidescreen.blogspot.com, and his poetry can be found at www.aroseintheconcrete.blogspot.com.


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Abbreviated Transcript of Interview with Seif-Eldeine Och


Eric Michaels: What are some unique communication devices for someone to use?
Seif-Eldeine: Things some people may forget is that communication is more visual than auditory. Things to consider are body language and colors. When you are talking to someone, do not lean forward or you will appear and feel aggressive, do not lean back, cross your arms or cross your feet or you will appear and feel disconnected.  Also, consider the colors you wear and surround yourself with. Be considerate of your voice and practice it. Audio sounds still fit into this equation. According to the "Definitive Book of Body Language," meaning is 65 percent body language, 28 percent tone, cadence, rhythm and pitch and 7 or 8 percent content.


Eric Michaels: What can colors do for communication?
Seif-Eldeine: The first thing someone notices about you is your physical presentation. The aspect of physical appearance you have most control over is the colors you wear. Every color sends out a message. Blue is soothing, black is intimidating, red is aggressive, brown is earthy and friendship, white is pure, yellow is complicated, etc. The color to avoid the most is yellow. People do not like other people who they cannot rely on to act a certain way in a certain situation, and yellow adds to this perception of not being reliable and too complicated to understand and relate to. Your number one concern when pursuing a relationship should be how easy you are to relate to.


Eric Michaels: Why is complication a problem and simple communication the answer?
Seif-Eldeine: A simple message is easier to digest, understand and take action on. The simpler and more straightforward the directive the more effective it is. People cannot act on messages that are too hard to understand or so complicated that they require critical thinking and analysis to implement. Making a message simpler does not have to do with only the message itself. According to psychiatrist Carl Jung, people fit into 16 different personality categories. They can even be in 3 or 4 categories, with one more dominant than the others. Tailoring your message to the individual is crucial.


Eric Michaels: How do you tailor your message to the individual?
Seif-Eldeine: How the person you are trying to improve your relationship with feels and thinks is critical. For example, people who are inattentive will have to hear messages repeated multiple times because, through no fault of their own desires, they could be thinking of something else when you are talking to them. People who get stuck in negative loops will have to hear the OPPOSITE of the message you are trying to get across. This is especially the case with people that have obsessive compulsive disorder. In a non-sarcastic way, tell them NOT to do what you want them to do.


Eric Michaels: Where are some places one could find this information and read your articles?
Seif-Eldeine: I recommend John C. Maxwell's "21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader" and Dr. Daniel Amen's "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life" for building a better you, " The Definitive Book of Body Language" by Barbara and Allan Pease, "Rules of the Game" by Rolling Stone Writer, Social Psychology and Seduction Expert Neil Strauss for better communication and presentation, "The Zen of Listening" by Rebecca Z. Shafir, to look up colors at www.precisionintermedia.com, and the most important book I recommend is Krishnamurti's "Freedom from the Known" in order to disconnect yourself from your past and the future and control your emotions now...


--Want the entire audio version of this eHealth Radio Episode?


Don't Miss the Special Tip in Conclusion...


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

00:0000:00

Filed under Health, Personal Development, Relationships · Comments

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