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February 3, 2011 @ 6:49 pm

The role sexual pleasure plays in our health

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Author and Certified Sexologist Eric Garrison joined the show to discuss sexual pleasure and its important to health.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Eric Marlowe Garrison is no stranger to sex and sexual health. After a dipping his feet in the sex education pool as a college peer educator, the Masters and Johnson Institute hired him to educate their clients on their then new phone service. Eric also holds masters degrees from two royally chartered universities (in the fields of sex research and teaching) and is both a Diplomate and former student president at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, the world’s oldest school of public health.


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Certified by AASECT and the American College of Sexologists, Eric authored the international best seller, Mastering Multiple Position Sex, and appears often in various global media. Recently, while wearing his forensic sexology hat, Eric offered expert testimony in the important trial of US v. Newman, the third sexual assault case at the United States Military Academy at West Point and only the second rape conviction in the Academy’s two-hundred-year history.

Eric is also gifted in the area of “oratorical sex”, frequently receiving invitations to share his wit and wisdom through workshops, grand rounds, and keynotes – all the way from the west coast of the United States to the west bank of the River Thames. His audiences ranged as high in number as one thousand, and the venues include the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and Oxford Medical School at the University of Oxford.

Finally, and most importantly, Eric serves as a sounding board, mentor, and sex coach to people around the world who want to have better sex. He sees clients face to face in his Richmond (Virginia) office, and reaches out to people around the globe – especially serving in the US military and Foreign Service – through Skype, the Internet, and phone, when they can’t come in to see him.

For more information or to make an appointment with Eric Garrison, please go to EricMGarrison.com.


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Abbreviated Transcript of Interview with Eric Garrison


Eric Michaels: There is so much talk on the importance of orgasms and even multiple orgasms these days. What’s your take on that?
Eric Garrison: When I work with a new client or couple, I stress the importance of sexual pleasure. Orgasms certainly are pleasurable, we may not always be able to have them. So I try to teach my clients have as much pleasure as possible and that means maybe an orgasm or maybe not, but that's fine with me, and I hope they learn that it can be fine for them as well.


Eric Michaels: What role does sexual pleasure play in our health?
Eric Garrison: The way I see it, health is a fundamental human right. Sexual health is part of health, so sexual health is a fundamental human right. Now by extension, because sexual pleasure is part of sexual health, sexual pleasure is a fundamental human right; so when people tell me that they don't experience sexual pleasure or don't have as much sexual pleasures they would like, that is as much of a concern for me as it is for them.


Eric Michaels: How does masturbation fit into sexual health?
Eric Garrison: Masturbation IS self-pleasuring. Masturbation can be practice for sexual act to come, they can teach an individual about their own body, and it can provide a slew of health benefits. It can help reduce pain. It can help control our appetites. It can help relieve sinus pressure. It can expedite a natural childbirth. It can help reduce prostate cancer in men. It doesn't cost anything, it doesn't spread disease, and it doesn't result in unwanted pregnancies. Masturbation is a problem only in two situations: if your religion forbids it, or if by masturbating, other aspects of your life are interrupted. If an individual is late for work because they masturbate, that's a problem. If an individual doesn't take out the trash, because they're masturbating, that's a problem. If somebody forgets to file their taxes, because they're masturbating, that's a problem. Otherwise it is a healthy part of our sexuality.


Eric Michaels: In your book and medical school lectures, you talk a great deal about what individuals and couples should strive for in their sexual relationships. So now for the counterpoint: how would you define abnormal sex?
Eric Garrision: I get this question a lot, so much so, that I had answered in my book. On page 13, I write: “the only abnormal form of sex is when coercion is present or consent is absent.” Minors can’t provide legal consent, nor can people under the influence of alcohol or other mind altering substances. So my definition of abnormal sex is not only a legal one and an ethical one, it is also a very open-minded and non-judgemental one.


Eric Michaels: Seeing as you literally wrote the book on sex positions, what do you consider to be the worst is sexual position?
Eric Garrison: That's a great question! I call it “The Dead Octopus”. Most of us have two arms and two legs, which means our partners probably have two arms and two legs. So when I hear that couples have sex and their arms and legs do absolutely nothing in bed, that's what I call the Dead Octopus. Now if you have an injury or paralysis, then you can eroticize other parts of your body. You may not need your hands to do anything to your body, but your partner may need an extra hand. Likewise your left leg could stroke your partner’s right leg. The important thing to remember is that pleasure in bed belongs to you. Don't rely on somebody else to give you pleasure like it's a gift wrapped up in little a little blue box from Tiffany's. You may ask for help with your sexual pleasure, but don't expect it to be given. So avoid the Cctopus and help take matters into your own hands. Speaking of which, if your partner tries to prevent you from pleasuring yourself during sex without your consent, you need to stop and have a discussion immediately, and perhaps leave that relationship.


---Don't forget to not miss the "Conclusion Tip"...


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Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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January 31, 2011 @ 9:06 am

Sexual Desires Can Last a Lifetime!

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Hattie - a Holistic Life Coach, Speaker on Health, Beauty and Anti-aging & Author of  3 books, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Looking and Feeling Younger", "RetroAge: 4 Steps to a Younger YOU!" and memoir,  "Sex and the Single Senior: A Cougar's Search for Love", Radio Show "Hot With Hattie" on HereWomen Talk.com and who has made multiple appearances on international TV joined the show. At 74 nothing is stopping her...


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


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Hattie discusses the following on this eHealth Radio Episode:

  • What led you into being dubbed as "The Quitessential Cougar?
  • Do you believe that sexual desire lasts a lifetime?
  • What can a woman do to insure that they are desirable/appealing?
  • Do you believe that age, size, shape determine a women's sexuality?
  • What role does health play in maintaining satisfying sex?
  • Don't Miss Special Conclusion Tip...


Web Sites:
Blog: holisticallyhattie.com
Radio Program: HOT WITH HATTIE herewomentalk.com
Free 15 minute Private Holistic Life Coaching Skype or phone session  To schedule -- 212-388-8509 or hattie@hattieretroage.com.


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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January 6, 2011 @ 9:26 am

Why sexual energy is such an important part of life

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Certified Tantra Educator Dawn Beck joined the show to discuss tantra, what it is, how it can be useful in ones life as a single or in a couple.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Dawn Beck and Gerard Gatz are a Conscious Loving couple. They are Certified Tantra Educators through the Source School of Tantra with Charles Muir, Maui. In both their home city of Boulder, CO, as well as traveling, they offer transformational Tantra based workshops and private coaching for individuals and couples.


Private Sessions

Message from Dawn


Dawn and Gerard offer private Tantra and Sacred Sexuality educational sessions. We are committed to sharing their knowledge and experience of Sacred Sexuality with you.  We are delighted to guide and assist you in awakening your pleasure, bliss and wholeness in your heart, mind, body and spirit.  We cherish the opportunity to help you connect your heart and your spirit with your sexuality with the intention of deepening your capacity for connection, pleasure, joy and Love! We are honored to work with you as an individual or in a couple. Each session is as unique as the individual or couple, so to begin our process of private sessions, we will request that you fill out a personal profile before we meet so that we can better get to know you, your experience and your desires.  This will enable us to customize each session to meet your personal needs.


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Notes/Abbreviated Transcript from Interview with Dawn Beck


Eric Michaels: What is Tantra?

Dawn Beck: The word Tantra comes from ancient Sanskrit language meaning “expansion through awareness.”  Tantra is a spiritual path that involves practices that use breath, sounds, movements and symbols to quiet the mind and activate sexual energy. The energy generated by Tantra can be used for pleasure, blissful enlightenment and sexual healing. When practiced by oneself, a powerful flow of energy emerges from within and awakens the essence of your being. When this essence is shared with another, your Love is expanded in a Sacred and Conscious way within yourself, with your partner and the universe. Through the practice of Tantra, you are able to connect with and raise your energetic awareness to increase pleasure and intimacy. With this awareness, your loving soars into the highest realms of bliss and connection that you’ve only dreamed of.


Eric Michaels: What inspired you to study and practice Tantra?

Dawn Beck: Well let's see...I was in a fairly new relationship about 2 years going really having a beautiful time in the relationship, we were very connected, passionate, sweet and wonderful. Both my partner and I, we felt like we wanted to learn more about our own energies and how we could connect our own energies to each other and to take what we already had, the core of what we had and create even more depth and connection...


Eric Michaels: How can Tantra and Sacred Sexuality be useful in ones life as a single or in a couple?

Dawn Beck: That's an interesting question because a lot of people will call me or email me and say that I am really interested in tantra but I'm not in a relationship so there is nothing I can really do and just need to wait until I am in a relationship in order to practice, in order to study and that is absolutley not true. There are so many benefits for first of all being single, being an individual not in a relationship and starting the practice of tantra...


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Want the entire audio version of this eHealth Radio Episode? Dawn Beck discusses & answers:

  • Why is sexual energy such an important part of life?
  • What are some ways to start exploring this practice?


Reccomended Web Sites:
TantricSacredJourneys.com
SourceTantra.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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December 29, 2010 @ 7:03 pm

How do you know if you are in an unhealthy relationship?

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Dr. Joyce, the “Love Doctor” joined the show. Dr. Joyce has extensive experience in helping couples to gain and maintain healthy relationships. On this episode of eHealth Radio she defines what is a healthy relationship and a WHOLE lot more.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Dr. Joyce Morley-Ball was born the youngest of fourteen children and is the mother of three daughters. She is the owner and CEO of Morley-Ball & Associates, Inc. and is affectionately known as “Dr. Joyce, the Luv Doctor”. She holds a Bachelor of Science degree (B.S.) in Elementary Education/Psychology from SUNY Geneseo; a Master of Science degree (MS) in Counseling from SUNY Brockport, Specialist degrees (Ed.S.) in Counseling and Education Administration from SUNY Brockport, and a Doctorate degree (Ed.D.) in Counseling, Family and Worklife (CFW) from the University of Rochester. She is recognized as a National Certified Counselor and National Certified School Counselor by the American Counseling Association (ACA), a Clinical Member and Approved Supervisor by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a Certified Criminal Justice Specialist by the National Association of Forensic Counselors (NAFC). Dr. Joyce has served as an educator in the public school system and as a professor at the post secondary level for many years. She engages in motivational/keynote speaking, training, executive, relationship, life coaching, and mediation at the national, state and local levels, and she serves as a licensed psychotherapist in private practice.

Dr. Joyce does consulting for businesses, organizations, and educational institutions, including The Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), Core Consultant for the Georgia Center for Nonprofits (GCN), the U. S. Dept. of Education, the Georgia Department of Juvenile Justice, Project GRAD Atlanta, and other organizations. She served as president of the Atlanta Branch of the American Association of University Women (AAUW) and the Jeannette Rankin Foundation in Athens, Georgia. Dr. Joyce has served on several Boards of Directors, including Kate's Club and the Porsche Foxx Community Fund (PFCF). She has been recognized by Who’s Who In Medicine and Healthcare, Who’s Who Among Human Service Professionals, and The World’s Who’s Who Among Women, and she is featured in the 2008 edition of the African-American National Biography. She was selected to serve as an International Delegate for the World Mental Health Organization, and led a mental health team to assist in the mental health needs of hurricane Katrina survivors, especially first responders and their families. For more on Dr. Joyce click here.


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Abbreviated Transcript of Interview with Dr. Joyce


Eric Michaels: How would you define a healthy relationship?


Dr. Joyce: Well Eric, one of the first things that people have to decide is if they are in a relationship or a situation. A relationship is for the long haul, and a situation is for the short haul. So it makes it real difficult to be able to have people to decide am I in a relationship or in a situation. Once they decide whether or not they are in a relationship or a situation or whether there is going to be relating - you know the root of the relationship is relate - relate is to communicate. If there is no communication then there is probably not a relationship.


Eric Michaels: There seems to be an increased number of couples whose relationships are ending and the divorce rate is up.  Is there anything that individuals can do to ensure that they are entering into a healthy relationship in an effort to keep it from dwindling?


Dr. Joyce: I think one of the first things that they have to do is to begin to look at - who am I getting into this relationship with? And we talk about people making sure that they have green cards to make sure that people are citizens, I say with a relationship they have to have a color coded card - they need a red card, a blue card, green, orange, any kind of card, what is the credit like, what is this persons history, who is this person, let me find some things about this person that I might have not known before...


Eric Michaels: How does one know when he/she is involved in an unhealthy relationship?


Dr. Joyce: The minute that they see communication has stopped - and often times Eric people realize that you can have a conversation but it doesn't mean you are communicating. Is there respect going on, lack of respect - when there is a lack of communication, when there is lack of acknowledgement, when people are not willing to compromise, when people are not willing to take care with you, and I call them all the C's, are they willing to actually - we are going to look at how are we going to communicate, how are we going to compromise, how can I care about you, what am I doing to make sure you are OK! When a person is emotionally, psychologically, physically abuses any of the abuses this will get in the way...


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Want the entire audio version of this eHealth Radio Episode?
Dr. Joyce discusses & answers:

  • Are there certain steps that persons can take to maintain or regain health in a relationship that has begun to sour?
  • Does sex play a major role in helping couples to have healthy relationships?
  • What, if any relationship deal breakers should people consider in maintaining healthy relationships?
  • How does this apply to one's past history as a deal breaker?
  • Conclusion Tip...


Contact Information:


Web Site: DoctorJoyce.com
Phone: (770) 808-6570


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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December 9, 2010 @ 8:32 pm

Finding Sexual Abundance

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Izzy Gesell M.Ed, CSP joined the show to discuss sexual issues within our relationship.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Izzy is a motivational speaker and group facilitator which is not something he thought he would be doing at any point in his life. Raised in Brooklyn, NY, Izzy started his professional career as a special education teacher which included seven years at Bellevue Psychiatric Hospital. He wanted to be a stand up comedian and studied comedy writing in New York. After moving to Massachusetts, he had a varied career as a comedian, deli owner and teacher of comedy writing before stumbling into the perfect career – motivational humorist, group facilitator, author and sexual advocate.


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Partial Transcript of Interview with Izzy Gesell

of SexualAbundance.org


Eric Michaels: In your best estimate how often should a married couple be having sex on a weekly basis?

Izzy Gesell: I think that is one of the stumbling blocks is to think there is a right number or right way to do it. I think the key is couples should be having sex on a basis that works for the both of them - it's sort of like a dance and you have to be able to go along with your partner when they want to dance with you. I don't think that there is a certain number of times of week but they key is ot be in alignment on how often it should be.

Eric Michaels: When there should be a concern if they aren't dancing to the same beat so to speak?

Izzy Gesell: Well I guess if we are going to use that same metaphor, when they are dancing to different beats, so when one person is feeling that they are not having their needs met and the other person is feeling that things are fine then that's when there should be a concern. It's not so much how often or when it's more, are we in alignment are we being satisfied in our needs to get our sexual desires and needs fulfilled.

Eric Michaels: How can we be sure our wives are not faking an orgasm?

Izzy Gesell: Well, I don't know if you ever can be sure if think about movies like Harry met Sally or that Seinfeld episode where Elaine proved to Jerry that she was able to do that and Jerry swore that he would never be able to be tricked like that but what I think this refers is - if someone need to fake it then there is a need to have some more communication - why do they need to fake it or what are they trying to achieve by faking it. I think that in the work that Laura and I have done with SexualAbundance.org we found more and more couples who spend a lot of time in their heads thinking about trying to please what they think the other person wants so sometimes we have talked to women who have said they faked it because they didn't want to embarrass their partner and on some level if you think about the phrase "faking an orgasm" it's about being truthful...


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Want the entire version of this eHealth Radio Episode?
Izzy Gesell discusses & answers:

- How can we prepare mentally ahead of time (release stress) so that we are relaxed and have a mind to please the other sexually?

- What can a man do, if he has issues with having an erection...due to medication, health issues or stress?

- One party controlling when the intimate time occurs.

- And a Special Tip...


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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December 7, 2010 @ 3:17 pm

4 Obstacles to Sexual Health, Wellness and Pleasure

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Jaiya, world-renowned sexual wellness expert joins the show!


Jaiya joins the show to talk about how we can find true pleasure if we are educated about sex. She believes that sex isn't just something we do, but part of who we are. Listen in on this very entertaining and informational packed episode of eHealth Radio.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode.


Jaiya is a world-renowned sexologist, author of Red Hot Touch, and the founder of New World Sex Education; a company dedicated to using "real" sex education to help men and women get the sex lives they desire.  Jaiya understands that throughout life sexuality changes and strives to meet her students wherever they are on their personal path to greater pleasure.  She's been through many sexual stages and honestly shares her personal experience from pain to pleasure.  Jaiya is passionate about helping women and men overcome sexual issues, usually stemming from a lack of education, that may hold them back from exquisite sex as their birthright.  She believes that sex isn't just something you do, but something that is part of being human and being alive.  You may have seen Jaiya on the Tyra Banks Show, TLC, CNN or Playboy TV.  She's even shared the stage with self-help guru Tony Robbins. Jaiya is  a unique mix of Dr. Ruth, Lady Gaga and a Yogi; through her dynamic teachings she's helping women and men reach their full erotic potential.


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Transcription of First Part of Interview with Jaiya


Eric Michaels: What are the 4 Obstacles to Sexual Health, Wellness and Pleasure?

Jaiya: Well the first has to do with - Bio-Mechanics (Flexibility, Body Pain, and Function) Have you ever wanted to try that position from the Kama Sutra, but your body just won’t bend that way?  Or what about that position that hits the G-spot but your partner’s knees just can’t take it?  Couples often feel like failures when they can’t bend, stretch or move in certain ways.  Even more of a turn off is when your body is in pain.  Pain inhibits your sexual desire. Obstacle Two:  Bio-Chemistry (Your Brain, Hormones, and Blood) Your B-Spot (Brain) is your biggest sexual organ, but what happens when the chemistry just isn’t there?  Why is sex so hot in the beginning of a relationship but fades with time?  Why does that hot new Cosmo technique have you soaring, but you do it again and it lets you down?  The answer:  bio-chemistry.  We are complex creatures and our hormones effect us in big ways.  For example, if you are breastfeeding, you have a hormonal cocktail in your system designed to decrease your libido. And I haven’t even touched on blood, which when toxic, can keep you from arousing fully.

Obstacle Three:  Psyche (Emotions, Shame, and Communication) Resentment is the number one reason why couples in my practice stop making love with each other.  They get angry, they stop communicating, and they feel awful.  You probably have never been taught how to communicate your sexual needs.  You probably have never been taught how to work with your emotions around your sexuality.  And I haven’t even touched on sexual shame, which can lead a sex life to it’s grave.

Obstacle Four:   Scar Tissue (Trauma, Infection, etc) Scar tissue is the most overlooked of the four obstacles.  Ask yourself, “Have I had any infections (bladder, yeast), any surgeries, traumas (falls, childbirth), or inflammation?”  These are all causes of adhesions or scar tissue in the body.  Scar tissue can have a massive effect on your sex life from inability to engorge with blood (erection) to loss of sensation.

Each of these obstacles affects the other.  For example, if you have scar tissue it can affect your flexibility.  Your hormones can effect your emotions and visa versa.  When you take all of this into account you can easily see how sex tips and techniques don’t work for everyone, and definitely won’t work in the same way when you take into account the obstacles to success.

The great thing about the four obstacles is that they can change from obstacles to Four Pathways to Optimal Sexual Wellness and Pleasure.  When you pay attention to your overall health and vitality, you increase your ability to feel more pleasure.  Then sex tips start to do what they promise and you have a formula for mind-blowing, ecstatic sexual experiences that leave you breathless.

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Want the entire version of this eHealth Radio Episode?


Jaiya discusses & answers:


- Personal obstacles she has overcome


- 3 ways Sex Education help a couple have a better relationship


- Eric ask: You believe that sex isn't just something we do, but part of who we are.  What are the 5 sexual stages people might find themselves in?


- And a Special Tip... on Sex Labs...you got to hear this...


Connecting with Jaiya:


RedHotTouch.com


SexIsYou.com (launch scheduled for after Dec. 25, 2010)


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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November 30, 2010 @ 10:47 am

Problems in Your Sex Life?

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ISADORA ALMAN, a Board certified sexologist and a California licensed psychotherapist and counselor joined the show on eHealth Radio. Isadora is a former radio talk show host and frequent radio and TV guest, and a lecturer and workshop leader on a variety of communications topics. "Ask Isadora," a syndicated advice column on sex and relationships, has appeared in newsweeklies nationwide for more than twenty-five years.


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eHealth Radio is brought to you by eDrugStore.md.

Partial Transcription of Interview with Isadora Alman:

Eric Michaels: In your opinion, why would fear exist among couples when it comes to sex within the relationship. Is this common from your perspective?

Isadora: Well, fear probably is a very strong word. Certainly reluctance, embarrassment, shame - nobody grows up in our culture without a great deal of that around sexual issues. The last person you want to be embarrassed in front of is your nearest and dearest and so I think all of us harbor a great deal or a little bit of the reluctance to appear ridiculous or needy or weird or any number of things that can come up around sexual issues.

Eric Michaels: What are ways and methods on how one can relax before having sex with their spouse?

Isadora: I think everybody has his or her own method of relaxation. Some people like to exercise, some like to take a long cold shower or a warm bath or a drink of something or another - so we all have to know our own conditions. If you know what you need in order to relax - that's what you need to let your partner know. A lot of people just need to decompress when they come home from work.

Eric Michaels: Within your counseling and coaching sessions - what is the most common area of struggle with your clients?

Isadora: The most common these days and it changes from all the years I have been doing this is a discrepancy in desire. One partner wants sex more often than the other does or in a different way or one doesn't want it at all or whatever it is, the two people are not in sync. And if you are in a monogamous relationship that really does create a problem.

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Want the entire version of this eHealth Radio Episode?

Isadora Alman discusses & answers:

- Her new novel: Bluebirds of Impossible Paradises: A Sexual Odyssey of the Seventies

- Advice for a gentleman who's wife doesn't seem to be interested in having relations with her husband or only does when she is in the mood.

- And a Special Tip...

Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your relationship guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on  eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.

Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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October 27, 2010 @ 9:27 am

Deepening Relationships

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Annette Gates of Intentional Relationships joins the show. She says those that are busiest experience the most challenges within a relationship. Most people fail to take the time to deepen their relationships. Frustration occurs when relationships do not grow. Making time for intimacy and sex are very important in deepening a relationship. What's underneath that as she sees it, often, are the patterns of behavior that persist to feel the comfort, leaving people content with being comfortable, but lacking the growth in deepening their relationship.

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October 26, 2010 @ 9:32 am

Slow Down & Receive

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Hear Dr. Betty Martin share how to receive a gift from a loved one which can happen in many forms but especially in touch. Most people have the idea that if they want to learn how to receive they have to jump alll the way into the deep end of the pool. Often by jumping into the deep end, its too much. Slowing down is better explained by taking a smaller bite & just putting your toe in the pool. The rest will come naturally.

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