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December 6, 2010 @ 10:16 pm

Judge Lynn Toler: The Craziest Case Ever

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Judge Lynn Toler of TV's Divorce Court joined eHealth Radio to talk about her experience as serving on the bench. She gives good advice for those considering divorce and a whole lot more. She even shares what her craziest case was in which you got to hear.


Note: Refer to audio player below to listen to this episode of eHealth Radio.


Judge Lynn is a graduate of Harvard University and The University of Pennsylvania Law School. She began practicing law in Cleveland in 1984. In 1993, at the age of 33, she was elected judge of The Cleveland Heights Municipal Court. While on the bench, Judge Lynn volunteered actively in her community creating innovative programs for young offenders such as Woman Talk, a program designed to intensively mentor young, at-risk girls.

While on the bench, Judge Toler also headed the Cleveland Heights Coordinated Community Response to Violence against Women, a countywide initiative for the coordination of community resources to assist women who are victims of violence. She was also active as an advisory board member for Templum House, a battered women’s shelter. As a result of her work in the area of domestic violence in 2002, she was awarded The Humanitarian of the Year Award from The Cleveland Domestic Violence Center.

In 2001, Judge Lynn became the host of the nationally syndicated show Power of Attorney. During this time Judge Toler started work on her first book and served as a retired judge sitting by assignment in multiple jurisdictions throughout Ohio. In addition, as an adjunct professor at Ursuline College, Judge Toler created and taught courses on Civil Rights Law, and Women and the Law. She was also a frequent instructor for the Ohio Judicial College, where she helped create and taught continuing judicial education course for other judges.

Judge Lynn became the host of Divorce Court since 2006. In 2007, she expanded her television presence becoming the host of the prime time television show, Decision House. In 2008 and 2009, Judge Lynn was a bi-monthly contributor on News and Notes, a weekly news show on National Public Radio (NPR). In 2009, she became a co-executive producer of Wedlock or Deadlock, A new syndicated series based on a segment of Divorce Court.

Judge Lynn is the author of two books. Her first, My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius published in 2006, is a humorous memoir in which Judge Lynn recounts a childhood lived in the shadow of mental illness and provides a practical guide to the emotional lesson learned from that experience. Her second book, Put It In Writing, coauthored with Deborah Hutchison, was published in September, 2009. It gives readers concrete, conflict-free solutions to the difficult situations that arise between family and friends.

Judge Lynn continues to write frequently for a variety of magazines. Currently she is a featured writer for Divorce Magazine published through out the United States and Canada. In 2009, Judge Toler was given The Voice of Freedom Award by the Philadelphia Chapter of the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. joining former honorees Colin Powell and Vice President Al Gore, in ringing the Liberty Bell on Martin Luther King Day.

Born on October 25, 1959, she has been married to Eric Mumford since April,1989. She had two sons and four stepsons.

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Partial Transcription of Interview with Judge Lynn Toler

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Eric Michaels:  Which party do you find yourself being the most hard on or less merciful within a divorce situation or dispute?

Judge Lynn: Well, I can't say male or female - what I say is the one who is acting the biggest fool especially if it is one who I find harmful to children. The money, the assets each other always take second place to anybody who is doing anything that I find who's being descructive or harmful to any children that may be involved - that party gets it!

Eric Michaels:  From your perspective - what is the #1 cause of divorce in America?

Judge Lynn: You know that's really a tough one. A lot of people like to say money but I don't believe that, I think money is the topic that most people will cop to they will say, yeh it was money but I think pressures of all kinds do it. I think its - the overall thing is a lack of communication. Ever marriage is going to have pressures and it's how you handle it and what you do and your ability to communicate and talk about how you feel - what you need and what you want and how you are able to compromise and make it workable for the both of you. So I will say failure to communicate because the reasons are so vast and I can't point to one.

Eric Michaels: What is the craziest case that you tried that comes to mind?

Judge Lynn: WITHOUT A DOUBT...it is the case where the woman - the bride - slept with the best man as opposed to the groom on the wedding night. The marriage lasted 90 days which to me was amazing that they got passed that night she says he was drunk and playing cards with his buddies when he was supposed to be taking care of his marital duties so her best response to that was to sleep with someone else.

Eric Michaels: What have you learned personally from being a Family Court Judge?

Judge Lynn: I think the thing that I have learned personally is to, and this is a very specific thing that I think it's very important and a lot of women can learn from it is to make the ASK. A lot of times women, and especially me misinterpreted my husbands failure to understand how I feel or to help me out when I am really busy or crazy around the house and I think he's just being inconsiderate and unkind and why doesn't he want to help me - he doesn't think its his job when in fact he just doesn't understand I need help....

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Want the entire version of this eHealth Radio Episode?


Judge Lynn Toler discusses & answers: -Importance of Communication - TO ASK!

- How she would handle a case where the parent that is responsible for paying alimony, loses his or her job and can't provide financial support for some time.

- And a Special Tip...


Connecting with Judge Lynn:

DivorceCourt.com
Twitter: @DivorceCourt
Facebook: Divorcecourt


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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Filed under Marriage Advice, Divorce · Comments

December 5, 2010 @ 10:57 am

Conflict Resolutions for Your Marriage

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Marriage Coach John Wilder joined eHealth Radio. He discusses the difference between marriage coaching and counselling, his treatment and approach in coaching, and how he works with couples on sexual coaching. You will enjoy John's laid back and direct - tell is like it is style.


Note: Refer to audio player at the bottom of this post.


John Wilder is a marriage, relationship and sexual coach. He has a BA degree with a double major in Behavioral Science and Bible. He also went to graduate school for Clinical Psychology. He attended Nursing School as well. He is one of but a handful of clinicians who treat clients holistically, dealing wtih all 3 aspects of our being; mind, body and spirit. You don’t have to be in his town because he deals with clients on the phone or on Yahoo IM on camera. He promises 4 hour sessions that resolves your problems in a very short period of time instead of counseling wich takes months and fails 75% of the time. You can follow his blog for marriage, relationship or sexual issues at marriagecoach1.wordpress.com. If you like you can contact him and he will give you a complimentary half hour session.  All you have to do is to leave him a comment on the blog or if you wish to communicate with him in private, you can email him at marriagecoach1@yahoo.com.  Leave me your name and phone number and he will call you back. Finally, you can contact me in absolute confidence because I offer an unheard of in the counseling industry of a money back guarantee.

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Partial Transcript of Our Interview with John Wilder


Eric Michaels: What is a marriage coach and how does that differ from a marriage counselor?

John Wilder: A marriage coach is a modern day trend and rejection of traditional counselling techniques basically because traditional marriage counsellors have a tremendous 75% failure rate. Would you want to go to a heart surgeon where 75% of his patients died? Basically the difference is that a lot fo marriage counsellors are adopting the coaching paradigm and the difference is actually in the actual treatment. Traditional marriage counsellors typically limit you to 1 hour a week and talk a whole lot about feelings and that's not real effective in problem solving. It's sort of like a newscaster shoving a microphone in a grieving persons face and asking them how they feel. It's just stupid and it's irrelevant. We don't need to talk about feelings they are there because their marriage is in trouble. Feelings are really irrelevant and its all about resolving a problem so the marriage is no longer in trouble and that's the difference between coaching vs. counselling. For me the difference is also that I don't limit the sessions to just one hour a week because that becomes too little too late. You rial all these emotions and feelings upward the people had a truce and you send them home all pissed off and start fighting all over again and it's counter productive. I do a 4 hour intake session and you can get a lot of stuff done in 4 hours whereas an hour - and it's a fifty minute hour and you only have about 30 minutes of effective time and it's really too little too late. So more and more marriage counsellors are adopting the coaching paradigm.

Eric Michaels: How is your treatment different from a traditional marriage counselor?

John Wilder: Basically I take the roll of a mediator. Marriage counsellors try and take a neutral roll or in some case an aggressive roll where they say you guys are better off getting a divorce. A mediator listens to both sides and gives them effective feedback - what they are doing right and what they are doing wrong and suggesting to both men and women if you want to bare the marriage this is the way you can do it. Another problem with traditional marriage counsellors is that they don't teach conflict resolution skills. This is the number one reason couples end up divorcing is because when they get into a conflict they start doing disfuncional behaviors by start yelling at each other and using words, clubs to beat the other in submission and basically the idea is winning the argument. The problem with winning the argument is there is a loser and the loser feels bitter and resentful. The best outcome is a WIN-WIN situation where no one wins and both parties actually win - but we don't do that. We have not been trained to do it from our parents or from the traditional marriage counsellor so I am big into teaching conflict resolution skills.

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Want the entire version of this eHealth Radio Episode?


John Wilder discusses & answers:

- What does a sexual coach entail?

- Why he chose to go into this career.

- Typical problems you encounter with couples?

- And a Special Tip...
Connecting with John Wilder:


Blog: MarriageCoach1.wordpress.com


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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Filed under Health, Marriage Advice, Divorce · Comments

December 4, 2010 @ 7:02 pm

Are You Considering Divorce? WAIT!!

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Dr. Robin Siebold joined the show to talk about marriage, divorce, children visiting rights & more.


Note: Refer to audio player at the bottom of this post to listen to this show.

Robin Siebold, Ph.D. is trained in counseling psychology and spirituality. She specializes in divorce and relationship issues, dysfunctional family systems, communication skills, codependency, parenting and most recently, collaborative law. Dr. Robin graduated from the University of Maine and Nova University. She is a licensed mental health counselor in the state of Florida, and is a member of the International Association of Collaborative Professionals.

Known for her charismatic personality and flair, Dr. Robin has given scores of presentations to groups, associations and companies throughout the country, ranging from divorce survival, relationship enhancement and spirituality. Previously Dr. Robin was a co-host of a weekly radio talk show "Mind to Mind: Enhancing Your Personal Growth" and host of a live television show in Orlando, Florida, "Relationships...with Dr. Robin".

Dr. Robin is the creator of two audios: Self Esteem: Re-Membering Your Self Worth and To Divorce or Not: The Financial, Legal and Emotional Aspects and is scheduled to launch her first bestseller in 2010, "To Divorce or Not", a must read for anyone contemplating ending their relationship. Currently, Robin maintains a private practice in Brevard County, Florida.


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Partial Transcript of Interview with Dr. Robin Siebold


Eric Michaels: Is your book titled "To Divorce or Not" available for purchase yet?

Dr. Robin: Not yet. It should be available any day now. This is a work that has been in progress for about 10 years mostly based on my procrastination and fear of finally getting it out there. One of the things I want the listeners to know that I am very PRO relationship and this book is NOT how to get divorced because even in my practice have always encouraged people to look at themselves before they make the leap to divorce because it is a live changing event.

Eric Michaels: If I were considering divorce after more than 5 years of marriage...where would you begin advising me?

Dr. Robin: First thing I am going to ask you is if you had had counselling yet. I get a mixed bag of that; I get people who tried it and failed, I've had people that have never done it or don't think they need to and way passed this and I still ask them if they would consider the possibility because I want them to turn over every stone possible before they make that decision particularly if there are children involved. Then I would encourage them to look at themselves because the answers are always within us and what people tend to do when they decide to get a divorce is look at the other person: if they had only done this or had been this way. So many times we get in a relationship and think we have the right or have the powers to get people to change and if they love me enough they would do it. We have authority or right or power to do that. I ask couples how did you first meet? What did you used to do together? A lot of times I fund out that they have not been having date nights, they haven't done the things that they used to do together and have started to live separate lives going in different directions with both working. They are not spending enough of that relationship time....

Eric Michaels: How do we stop the cycle of the past - that hasn't been so successful?

Dr. Robin: That's the other thing that people need to take a look at. This is what my book does it takes you - the subtitle is Reflections of Self - taking a look at what is your part in this whole scenario. It is never one person that makes the mistake or fails the marriage we can't point the finger as the old saying goes - we got one pointing at one and 4 pointing backward. Let's look at the relationship that your parents had...

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Want the entire version of this eHealth Radio Episode?


Dr. Robin Siebold discusses & answers: - How she would counsel a couple in the middle of an ugly divorce where the child is with one of the parents and the other will not allow them visitation rights due to lack of child support and other issues?


- How would you help one to find their purpose in life?

- And a Special Tip...


Connecting with Dr. Robin:
RobinSiebold.com

FaceBook - Robin Siebold


Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.


Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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Filed under Marriage Advice, Relationships, Divorce · Comments

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