Brian Freedman joins the show to talk about being single and how to capitalize. If there is one that is wise in his younger years it's Brian. Brian Freedman is 23. He has spent over two and a half years answering men and womens relationship related questions through various sites.
Personally, I think pick up lines are bogus. Pretty much any girl I go up to whom I've never met and say, "I wish I was a mirror, so you could see how beautiful you are" would either get me a chuckle and then have her turn away or just stand there having her awkwardly stare at me with a "That's it, really?" look.
Pick up lines are merely ways that break the tension, and show how intelligent and funny you are to a stranger you hope to bang later on. I go with Olivia Munn when she says the best pick up line is, "Hey, my name is Jeff." Simple. Sweet. To the point. No attempt to be anything but genuine. And to keep the conversation going, notice what the other person is doing and wearing. If a girls at a club, ask her what's her favorite song to dance to. If she looks well put together, then she probably spent 2+ hours in front of a mirror before going out so say something to valid that effort. A simple, "I like your dress" or a bit funnier, "Does your hair always look this sexy?"
At the end of the day, there's no magical formula or one line that will make the other person want to have you right there just be yourself and if they're not feeling you after a minute, don't try harder. Just cut your losses and move on.
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Transcript of Interview with Brian Freedman
Eric Michaels: What is your approach when seeing a gal you want to meet or get them to notice you?
Brian Freedman: Well, that would be an easy question to answer if I actually cared meeting anyone. I'm 23, been single my whole life and I love being single. I guess I have a case of Stockholm syndrome towards my singledom. Now, am I against getting into a relationship if a pretty young thang comes my way? Of course not. But I don't actively seek the opposite sex. But, something two years ago I went to the mall with a idea. I've heard women hate pick ups lines, so I decided to keep it simple. My objective was to ask out three girls using a simple formula: "Hi my name is Brian. I think you're really pretty. Would you like to go out this weekend." Your name. A Compliment. And then ask them out. That's it. I just wanted to see what would happen, would it work or was is it too simple, too straightforward? Only one way to find out. The first girl I asked turned me down. Okay, didn't work on her. The second girl I had to wait in line 15 minutes holding nothing in my hands to purchase so when I got to the cash register and asked her out, she just looked at me, and in a kind weirded/creeped out voice said, "Nooo, I have a boyfriend." Wow, that was awkward. Mind you, I figured I would get turned down by all three women from the beginning, but I had nothing to lose because I didn't care if they said yes or not, I was just curious to see if my simple 3 sentence approach would work or not. So the last girl I asked out, she was not nonchalant like the first one, or disturbed like the 2nd one, she was very appreciative and was flattered that I asked her out. Unlike the others, she thought it was sweet. She genuinely said no because she had a boyfriend, but before I left she told me to feel free to stop whenever I was at the mall and say hi. Now that's a sweet girl. So saying your name, then a compliment, and asking out kind-"worked" 1 out 3 times.
Eric Michaels: Why do you think some singles struggle in finding the love of their life?
Brian Freedman: People's standards are off. And by off, I mean waaaayyy under what they should be. An okay guy asks you out and you figure, "Meh, not like I have any other offers." Then you're in a passionless relationship for 6 months until you break up realizing what you knew from the start. It's so easy to settle because there's no other offers. I mean, it's better to have something than nothing, right? Aside from standards, there's just no real place to go to find an amazing person. Most people only go to clubs or bars but women run into drunk guys or jerks and men run into not necessarily the classiest of women. Typically, you won't find and be able to flourish a quality relationship in that type on environment. So what is the right place to meet Mr. Right? Hell if I know. I'm in the same boat as everyone else. For me, I choose just to sit back and enjoy the ride and not worry when the love of my life will come into my life because in reality, I am the love of my life before anyone else is.
Eric Michaels: What is a total turn off for you in relation to a woman?
Brian Freedman: I could say butt ugly, but that would make me seem shallow. (But it's still true) Also just as important, is that if she doesn't have her life together. If a woman is frantic, stressed, doesn't communicate well, refuses to respect anyone else other than herself, has no ambition or direction in life. A lot of people want the same thing so it's nothing original. I would be appalled if she owned any credit cards and/or had debt. That's a big no-no. I've been following Dave Ramsey, financial guru on the east coast, and to me, if a girl uses credit cards and is in debt it just means she's stupid, lazy, and immature. Overall, it shows me she doesn't respect her finances and since that's the number one cause of divorce, the woman I'm with definitely has to have her financial life together.
Eric Michaels: Would you admit that LOOKS aren't the most important thing to a guy who is attracted to a particular woman?
Brian Freedman: That's hard to admit Eric. Now, you're right, looks are not the most important thing to a man, but it's definitely top 5. Are you hot? Are you smart? Are you funny? Are you successful? Are you interested in me? The same thing goes for women as it does to men. Being attractive isn't #1, but when you meet a person for the first time all you really have to go on is looks. Looks tell a lot about a person. Are the groomed? That means they care about their appearance. Do they shave? They're not lazy. Are they fat? They must not work out. Are they fit? They care about their body. Is there hair shiny? They take showers. And it goes on. It's not so primitive to say, "You hot lady. I want you now." There's a lot more too it. Your looks reveal a Facebook glimpse of your personality.
Eric Michaels: Why do you feel some singles are in a hurry to get married? Why the rush?
Brian Freedman: They're probably Christian or Catholic and can't wait to have sex. Or they're in a rush to have kids because she's already pregnant and they want the child to be born into a family. Depending on how old these single are their biological clock is ticking. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure why some people are in such a rush to get married. But from my experience, when you rush into marriage, not long before you rush into divorce.
Eric Michaels: Brian, how can our listeners be in contact with you online - is that an option?
Brian Freedman: I currently connect with people through my YouTube - youtube.com/BrianDFreedman. Just my name. Did my best to make it simple.
Eric Michaels: In conclusion any advice or a tip you could lend our listeners...
Brian Freedman: It's best not to get into a real relationship unless you love and are happy with yourself. So many arguments and frustration in a relationship are due to miscommunication and immaturity from one or both parties. Okay, I know it's a tall order, but I'm not asking you to be Ghandi and at complete peace with yourself. It would simply be better for you and your partner if you both come into the relationship with a perspective where you have a healthy level of understanding, compassion, and independence. That's not too much to ask.
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Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.