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November 26, 2010 @ 10:22 am

How To Do Relationships Well

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Lori Rubenstein has transformed her life and will help you transform yours. She is a life coach, mediator, author and teacher, and is known as the personal coach for passionate living. Raised by a teen mother in the projects, Lori became a compassionate warrior as a divorce attorney and relationship coach. Her mission is to help others heal from the hurts caused by relationships.

Lori is has authored three transformational books and a 10 CD/Workbook set, “I am Petrified to date again.” Now married to the man of her dreams, Lori is a witness to people’s personal growth as a life coach, workshop and retreat leader. The passion that keeps Lori going is her gift of bringing people back to love. Listen to her interview with us here on eHealth Radio.

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Eric Michaels: Briefly, what was the path that led you to becoming who you are today?

Lori Rubenstein: For me it started when I was four years and a half years old and my parents got separated. I didn't understand that until I was older but when they divorced I got to see how NOT to do divorce. They did not do divorce very well. There was a lot of fighting, a lot of arguing and basically it was like every single Sunday I saw my Dad and there was yelling and screaming. Somehow I grew up and decided I was going to save the world and get out there and teach people how to do divorce correctly and how to do relationships well and my path just took off from there.

Eric Michaels: How do you begin helping someone that has a broken heart from a past relationship?

Lori Rubenstein: So what happens is, people. everybody gets a broken heart at some point. If you are open and you are vulnerable in a relationship you are likely to get hurt if that relationship doesn't continue. So what people naturally do is that they build these big walls around themselves then they say to the next person, OK I'm willing to love you if you can beak down these walls...come on, come on I dare you! It is so hard because they're putting the other person that they're really interested in a place of having to compensate for the quote wrong - I don't believe there are any wrongs but the hurting that other people did to you, they have to make up for that. They have to climb and climb these big walls that you put out there. The greatest thing in the whole wide world is when you allow yourself to be vulnerable even though you might hurt. The key to that is to know! You have to get yourself to the point where you say no matter what happens I can handle it. I tell divorced people all the time that has to be your motto when heading back into the dating world again - No matter what happens - I can handle it! That is the truth. You have the ability to handle whatever comes your way. If you are feeling good enough about yourself, you love yourself, you feel self confident, you have self esteem, you are going to attract that kind of person into your life. It doesn't mean that every relationship is going to be successful and that every relationship is going to be a gift from God, the reason we have relationships is to learn. There are lessons that we are all here to learn - so be grateful. You can say, Oh my gosh, I really needed to learn how to take care of myself alone so thank you for leaving me. That is my goal working with client is helping them to get to that point.

Eric Michaels: What makes a great relationship?

Lori Rubenstein: Great relationships have very little to do with compatibility in terms of liking the same thing. People will say, we both love sports and we are meant to be together or we both love standing in front of a group teaching - that's really not what it's all about. Those are nice for friendships and doing things with other people but what really makes a great relationship is how you resolve disagreements. We always want other people to agree with us or our opinions are the right way or the best...

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Want the entire audio version of this eHealth Radio Episode?

Listen to Lori's entire interview.

Lori Rubenstein discusses & answers:

- What makes a great relationship?

- Why do some relationships work, while others don't?

- Her 28 day email course - "Transformation Through Forgiveness"...

- And a Special Tip...

Save this to your iPod/mp3 player or the desktop on your computer and listen to it again for your relationship guide or simply subscribe to this feed and never miss another episode on  eHealth Radio - powered by EDrugStore.md. Refer to audio player and links below.

Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.

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  • Lynne Conrad-Forrest, M.D.

    Interesting views about relationships…we are still trying to figure it out. Tomorrow is the 35th anniversary of Jeff and I getting married, so seems appropriate to consider what that means. Since you’re “in the business” of relationships I know you have learned a lot that I don’t know. I have learned a few things too and heartily concur with the idea that you must love yourself first and that will allow you to be healthy in your relationships. That is a life lesson that I am constantly trying to learn, don’t believe I will really master it, but am involved in the process. Those walls we built up over the years to protect us from past hurts are very high. Learning to appreciate and show that appreciation has been key, but it is not enough, just like love is necessary but not sufficient as you said. If we were not all addicted to romance, it would be easier, but I think it is human nature at least in our society to be attracted to the fairy tales that are promulgated by the media. Like fast foods, automatic/easy relationships are very attractive and addictive. Finding that person that makes you want to be your best is a wonderful concept, not always possible for everyone. Will have to check out more of your wisdom on your website! Thanks, Lori!

    Nov 28, 2010 at 11:39 pm
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