November 14, 2010 @ 6:26 pm
Alisa Ruby Bash is a a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Beverly Hills, California. She has been named one of the nation’s top 50 relationship therapists in “The Complete Marriage Counselor: Relationship Saving Advice from America’s Top 50 Couples Experts”. She specializes in relationship issues in her private practice. She has been consulted frequently in the media and has been featured most recently on NBC news 9/28/10 regarding the latest marriage statistics and the US Census, “E! News” regarding Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, “EXTRA” (NBC) as an Extra LifeChanger regarding the Tiger Woods scandal, cheating, and featured in AOL, More.com, Oprah.com, Complete Woman Magazine, Figure Magazine, Gate House Newspapers, The Intelligencer Newspaper, and the Jewish Journal of Los Angeles. She is also the author of “Secrets Of Staying In Love Forever”, a relationship book in stores nationwide in 2011. For more information on to be in contact visit AlisaRubyBash.com.
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Eric Michaels: So what do you see are some of the most common challenges couples deal with in relationships today?
Alisa Ruby Bash: Relationships have always had lots of challenges for most people but these days I am really seeing a lot of added pressures like the economy. I think overall though the most common relationship challenge that I see is in the area of infidelity. Over the last year we have seen so much infidelity and sex scandals with all the celebrities and politicians and I really think it's about the issue to the forefront of people's minds and it's triggered a lot of fears and insecurities in many couples. The thing is right now, with our technology there are so many more ways couples are cheating more than ever before.
Eric Michaels: What advice do you give couples who are having relationship challenges?
Alisa Ruby Bash: I really think it depends on the specifics and circumstances but generally speaking I came up with this idea which is called "The 4 C's of a Diamond Relationship!" This really can apply to all kinds of relationships. The idea behind it is that we all know that diamonds are the hardest substance found on earth and also the most precious. This is how our relationships need to be in order to withstand the challenges that are going to eventually face our marriages. When people are searching for the perfect diamond, a lot of times they use the 4 C's which are: Color, Cut, Clarity and Carat. I came up with the 4 C's for relationships which are: Commitment, Communication, Connection & Consideration. The idea is for relationships to be successful we need to be 100% committed. Then we need to learn how to speak in a language our partner will understand so that means you will need to find a balance between speaking your truth and learning to say what you want to say so that person will hear you. Also we need to connect every day and that can mean sexually or emotionally. Basically the idea is that you need to take the time every single day to sit down and speak with your partner and listen to how their day was and show some affection and connect with them to see if you guys are on the same page. And finally - over the long haul of the relationship - simply implementing consideration. Just simply treating our partner with kindness and remembering to do all those little things.
Eric Michaels: What made you decide to write your new book " The Secrets To Keeping The Spark Alive?"
Alisa Ruby Bash: I am a marriage and family therapist and I am fortunate enough to work with people and their relationships every day. What I really really love about my job is helping people experience more love in their life. Personally, I come from a very long line of happily married couples and I myself have a very happy marriage and a wonderful husband who I love and I really feel that a healthy, happy marriage just brings so much joy to peoples lives. When our relationships are healthy we are able to teach our children how to love and choose the right person - we have an opportunity to be a roll model for them which in turn creates a better world for everybody. I wrote this book to help people with their relationships to learn how to express their true authenticity and how to have long lasting relationships where they can be comfortable being themselves. I also think this book is a good way to preemptively address the issues that lead people to cheat.
Want the entire audio version of this eHealth Radio Episode? Listen to Alisa's entire interview.
Alisa Ruby Bash discusses & answers:
- What are your thoughts about emotional affairs?
- Do you think there is any hope for couples after infidelity has occurred in a relationship?
-Technolgy, today's culture and fear of infidelity striking.
- Special tip of advice...relationships are always changing and require constant growth.
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Note: The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the show host or it's owners.